Sunday, April 11, 2010

Maui: Episodes 11-12

It's long overdue but here is the next installment of my series of Maui slideshows. Number 11 features my Dad and Brother who came out for a couple of weeks. Between the three of us we took a lot of pictures so there will be several episodes of this two week period. Enjoy!

Episode 11

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Episode 12


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Friday, April 2, 2010

Girlfriend Application/Test.

Section 1: General info.
Are you a skier?
(To be qualified as a skier you must possess ski equipment, consider skiing a favorite activity, and ski frequently. Snowboarders may be considered)

Does your father have lots and lots of money and buy you everything you want?
(if answer is yes, don't bother continuing)

Do YOU think that you are pretty?

Have you lived out of your parents' house for at least 5 years?

Do you believe in fidelity?

For a successful relationship, are you willing to make an effort, or is that just my job?

Rate each of the following by how important they are to you by circling the number.
1 being super-duper very important, and 5 being completely unimportant.


1 2 3 4 5 My looks
1 2 3 4 5 My personality
1 2 3 4 5 The general state of my feet (smell, appearance, grooming)
1 2 3 4 5 My career
1 2 3 4 5 How often I appeared in my high school yearbook
1 2 3 4 5 How I honor my priesthood
1 2 3 4 5 My social status
1 2 3 4 5 My sense of adventure
1 2 3 4 5 My spirituality
1 2 3 4 5 How straight and white my teeth are
1 2 3 4 5 My sense of humor
1 2 3 4 5 My relationship with my family
1 2 3 4 5 The size of diamond I give you on engagement ring
1 2 3 4 5 How much I can bench press
1 2 3 4 5 How I look in a speedo while riding a white horse on a sunset beach
1 2 3 4 5 The way I treat you
1 2 3 4 5 The way I treat everyone else
1 2 3 4 5 My political opinions (or lack thereof)
1 2 3 4 5 What your family thinks of me
1 2 3 4 5 My cooking skills
1 2 3 4 5 How hairy my back is
1 2 3 4 5 How much hair is still on my head
1 2 3 4 5 My taste in music
1 2 3 4 5 How well we get along together
1 2 3 4 5 Having common interests
1 2 3 4 5 Sharing our uncommon interests
1 2 3 4 5 The mistakes I've made in the past
1 2 3 4 5 My breath in the morning
1 2 3 4 5 My honesty and loyalty
1 2 3 4 5 My skiing skills
1 2 3 4 5 My personal hygiene
1 2 3 4 5 My handyman skills
1 2 3 4 5 The compatibility of our astrological signs


Section 2: Multiple Choice

1. I unknowingly say or do something that really upsets you. Do you:
A. Be mean to me until I finally figure out what I did to deserve all the meanness. Because I should just know.
B. Pretend nothing is wrong when you're with me but cry and be super sad whenever you're alone.
C. Cry and be mean all the time but tell me nothing is wrong when I ask you what is bothering you.
D. Tell me immediately that you don't like what I did/said and help me understand your point of view so I can do what I need to to make it up and/or work it out.

2. For our weekly date night it is your turn to choose what to do. Choose one of the following:A. Stay in and watch some movie about your sister's pants and traveling, put make up on me because you are jealous of my long eyelashes, and gorge on ice cream because your mad because YOU thought that the other girl at the gym today looked better than you in the same new workout pants you bought yesterday.
B. Go to the Real or Jazz game, get on the jumbotron for dancing like idiots. Then see how many dollar menus we can order from in 20 minutes. Then take all our dollar menu items to homeless people around town. Race electric carts around the grocery store and pretend to get in a big fight about who has the fattest ankles when an employee tries to make us stop. Then go shoot the tube in the dark. Then go home and grill up some steaks. None of this was planned of course.
C. Go to Chili's and a movie.
D. Other. (Please Specify)

3. What is the most important to you?A. The clothes I wear when we are in public.
B. My career choice and how much money I am earning or will potentially earn.
C. The way I treat you and how I make you feel.
D. What others think about you because you are dating me.

4. It has been a couple of days since we have seen each other. When you first see me do you:
A. Scream and giggle, run up to me and jump into my arms wrapping your legs around me because you are just so darn excited to see me.
B. Give me a hug and tell me I really need to get a haircut.
C. Get mad at me for not warning you that I would see you so you could do your hair and put on make up first.
D. Say hello but generally ignore me because someone at work made you mad today.


5. Which of the following TV shows would you prefer to watch:
A. Jersey Shore
B. Man vs. Wild
C. American Idol
D. America's Next Top Model

6. We have a free weekend and want to do something fun. What do you want to do?
A. Drive to San Diego to surf.
B. Go to Moab to Mt. bike, river raft, and hike.
C. Go backpacking
D. None of the above.
E. Any of the above.

7. My guy friends are over, what do you do?
A. Leave because it smells like boy.
B. Join in the friendly banter, pick up a controller, and try to get to know my friends better.
C. Sit ornery in the corner because I'm not giving you enough attention.
D. Go into the kitchen and bake cookies because that's the only thing you can think of to make my friends like you.

8. I am playing in an athletic event, what are you doing?
A. Cheering for me from the stands, you never miss a game.
B. Playing on my team with me.
C. Hanging out with your friends, but you'll care about how the game went when you see me.
D. Any of the above. But you hope that it is B.

9. You have something very important to tell me. How do you do it?
A. Send me a text message.
B. Send me a facebook message.
C. Call me.
D. Call me to tell me you want to come over, (or me to go over there) so we can talk in person.

10. On our first date do you:
A. Send me a text message a few hours before I pick you up to tell me you can't come anymore.
B. Mentally go through your predetermined checklist of what a perfect man should be, and decide before the end of the night if I qualify or not. Because after all, a few hours is all you need to determine my worth as a human being and as a potential match for you. You're perfect so I should be too.
C. Try to be yourself and just have as much fun as you can, trying to get to know me without judging me or worrying what I am thinking about you, because you can tell I'm doing the same.
D. Suddenly get ill and ask me to take you home because my car isn't nice enough, the restaurant wasn't fancy enough, and my nose is too big.

11. You are feeling very bad about something, what do you want/expect me to do?
A. Tell you that you are being stupid for being upset about something so meaningless.
B. Patiently listen to you explain your feelings about the issue, help you feel validated in your feelings, and accept how you feel while only offering my opinion on the subject if you ask for it.
C. Tell you exactly what I think you should do to fix the problem.
D. Call up your mom, sister, or best friend and tell them to talk to you. I don't have a clue what craziness is going on inside your estrogen filled head.

12. We are at the lake, pool, or beach for the first time this summer, do you:
A. Refuse to put on a swim suit because you haven't lost your winter fat yet
B. Only get in knee deep because you already did your hair today and don't want to mess it up.
C. Lay on the ground the whole time and work on your tan.
D. Swim, jump, frolic, play, wake, surf, dive, throw, giggle, splash, ride, and just have a great time playing!

13. What is the best way for us to solve a dispute or deal with a disagreement.
A. Ignore the issue and quietly get more mad at each other while pretending everything is ok.
B. Yell and scream at each other until someone wins.
C. Patiently and caringly talk about the issue and both try to understand each others side. Listen to each other without interrupting. Then discuss options that will involve meeting in the middle, and both giving a little until we have come up with a solution together. Be honest and respectful.
D. Be too prideful, break up because we are just too different, then spend months and months wishing we weren't so stupid and that we would have just talked it out, but still be to proud to apologize.

14. Choose the answer that best finishes this sentence: "I like to be physically active because..."
A. My friend told me it is a healthier way than purging to make boys think I look good.
B. It is fun for me, it makes me feel good, and it helps me be healthy. I do it for me.
C. I am not physically active, I'd rather watch Glee and chat on facebook.
D. I want other people to see how good I look so they will like me.

15. Choose the answer that best describes you.
A. I am a happy cheerful girl, I love life. I love to have fun and be silly but I also work hard on the things that are important to me. I have high standards. I love my God and my family and friends. I believe in myself and I expect to be treated with respect. I have goals and ambitions. I like to look pretty and dress up but I also don't mind getting dirty. I understand I'm not perfect and don't expect others to be, as long as we are trying our best. I know life can be difficult but I relish opportunities to learn and grow from those hardships.
B. I wish I was prettier. I wish I was skinnier. I wish I had blond hair. I wish I had 10 toes.
C. I am perfect in every way and only other perfect people deserve to be around me. I don't have to work hard at everything, those that are below me should have to do it all. Everyone loves me because I am pretty and I have expensive things. The world revolves around me.
D. I pretend to be nice and sweet, but after you get to know me you'll see that I am just mean.


Section 3: Definitions (match the word/phrase with it's definition)

  1. winter
  2. sports
  3. reality TV
  4. camping
  5. church
  6. family
  7. shopping
  8. cuddling

a. The most important people on the earth to you.
b. A fun thing to participate in and sometimes watch but not something to ever take so seriously that it is all you think about.
c. An awesome, fun thing to do while watching movies, riding ski lifts, in a backseat, etc. But always done with respect and kept virtuous.
d. A fun activity to get away from the world, enjoy nature and good company, eat some great dutch oven, and relax.
e. Something you do every Sunday, but also a way of life that guides you to making wise decisions, comforts you, gives you morale guidelines, gives you hope and makes you happy.
f. Something that is often necessary, but that is often fun to do as long as it isn't excessive, too expensive and is done in moderation.
g. SKI SEASON!
h. Stupid. But maybe once in awhile mildly entertaining.

Section 4: Short Essay

Describe in your own words the off-sides rule in soccer.

In the cartoon "Ducktales", what is Uncle Scrooge's favorite pastime?

Name at least 5 presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Finish this sentence. "To me, facebook is..."

We have been dating for two months, but we have not really discussed exclusivity yet. Another boy asks you out on a date. What do you do?

One of my nieces/nephews just accidentally threw up on you. What do you do?

You are riding a mt. bike down a steep hill. Describe how you will use the left and right brake levers.

Describe how ridiculously good looking I am. What is your favorite part about me - My six pack abs, my bulging biceps, my ripped calves, my adorable belly button, or other (please specify with details)?

Why should you be my girlfriend?

Explain why a girlfriend application like this one, if I really thought was real and not just a silly joke, would be worthless and completely hypocritical of me.

PowPow.

This is the song that was playing when I skied this run and I just felt that I should make a little video. Cinematography is horrible but you get the idea, I did get the two trees I hit though! It was a pretty epic April Fools day. Mostly though, this is to make Reed mad, he was doing homework or something stupid like that. Haha Reed, you fool.
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