The New Years Kiss.

For the next several weeks we will all be scribbling out the 11 at the end of 20 and re-writing a 12 every time we write the day down, so even though it is just another day, it is kind of a special day.  It is the first day of the last year of the existence of us all.  Unless of course...the Mayans couldn't find a round rock big enough and simply ran out of room when they got to the year 2012.  So even if this isn't the beginning of the end, it is the day when we all look for a new beginning, a fresh start, and hope that things will be a bit better than the last year.  We make resolutions, and we make resolutions to keep our resolutions.  We remember the things that have happened and look forward to the things that will happen.  It is...the first day after last year, The New Year!

Personally, I don't get too caught up in the day other than a fun excuse to get together with family and friends and pretend to be cultured by drinking sparkling apple juice out of plastic wine glasses and watching washed up reality stars and bad lip synching on TV.  Speaking of lips, there is always that hope of a new years kiss as well!  I actually read on the news that dating website memberships increase dramatically this time of year.  No one wants to start out the new year alone!  I don't blame them.  So, let me divulge some wisdom from my "new years for dummies" autobiography.  Because apparently I fancy myself as some sort of kissing jedi master, as this is the second time I've written about the topic.

If you are planning a new years kiss at the stroke of midnight there are some things to remember.  First, make sure he/she is interested.  The very first new years I had as a member of the motor vehicle operators club (I was 16) I was with a girl whom I thought I was dating.  Thought being a key word.  A problem I still have to this day actually.  But come on, we held hands at the lights on Temple Square!  Anyway, I was planning on sealing the deal for the first time with my lady at the stroke of midnight on new years eve.  This was going to be a first kiss for her, for me with her, and my first new years smooch.  So it was a pretty big deal!  I couldn't think of a better time.  At the party, my pits ran like a leaky faucet I was so nervous.  I never let her get too far away, I had to be sure we were close when the countdown began.  Like a hawk I circled the party with giddy anticipation of the kiss to come.  The strangeness of her obvious attempts at avoidance had yet to compute in my single tracked mind.  She obviously noticed my conniving demeanor because soon we were in my car driving to her home to get some important object she had forgotten...FALSE.  We did actually drive all the way across my huge hometown and back.  PLENTY of time for her to explain to me that she...just wanted to be friends.  BOOM.  Just like that.  Done...so this is what they mean when they say wind out of the sails.  I spent the countdown at my grandmas house that year.  Dejected and lonely.  Fail.  (in retrospect though, that time with Gma was way more valuably spent)  But the lesson is, make sure first.

Also, it may be a good idea to make sure you are in good health.  In my latter years, I have annually spent the switch from year to year in a miserable state of gushing nostrils.  I credit this to dramatic climate change and SLC winter air.  So when I kissed that poor girl as the ball dropped, I was unaware of how extra wet this kiss would be.  Bless her heart she didn't react, but the indisputable fact remains, that my nose was more moist (that ones for you Christie) than my lips.  Yeah I know, GROSS!  So, if you've got snot gushing out of your nostrils, keep it on your own upper lip, no one wants to share that.  Dear recipient, if you're reading this, I'm sorry!

The nose subject brings up a whole different issue.  I have actually noticed that my most read blog post in recent weeks is this one:  Dallon's 5 Step Guide To Kissing for People with Big Noses.  This is good.  I'm glad you guys are planning ahead by studying up before your big kiss this new years!

Then of course there is the year that girl emerged from the shadows, unannounced and unnamed...with hands grasped behind my neck and firmly but with the softest lips, planted on me the most exciting new years kiss I've ever had.  Just as quickly as she came though...she was gone. The girl in the red dress, out of my life forever.  I still dream, that when I am old and small on a cold new years eve my future wife will giggly tell me about the time she kissed some handsome, random boy at a party, and left him speechless and twitterpated in the crowd.  She will tell me that that night...she was wearing her favorite red dress!  I have often thought I would try that, and to this day...have never had the courage to kiss a stranger on new years eve.  But wear a red dress, and I might be a hero on this new years eve!

There is also the incident when, as a joke, I kissed a friend as we counted down with full on dip and everything, I had to chase her down first as she seemed to know what was coming.  The problem was, as I later found out, this poor friend had never actually been kissed before and now sadly counts that as her first kiss.  I feel kinda bad about that.  I'm not 100% sure, but I think I am now the only person to kiss her besides her husband.  Oops!  So...make sure you are not going to ruin someones first kiss experience with a joking surprise new years kiss!

My few other new years kiss experiences didn't quite produce lessons worth learning, but this doesn't change the fact that midnight kisses on new years eve, are some of the best around!


I stopped writing this post about ten days ago, well before the new year...but just picked it back up today. I originally had high hopes and great expectations for the moment the calender switches, but...the new year is here now, and I celebrated east coast's new years and then went to bed around 11 o'clock.  I would site my age as the excuse but really I was just all sick again and didn't want to swap snot with any unfortunate lady.  I do hope however that your new years was more eventful, and wish you all the very best for 2012!  Happy Smooching!