Every time a runner gets thrown out at first base, I think the umpire is trying to punch his lights out for running too fast. Seriously, watch it. It's more entertaining than the game anyways.
Skinny white Utah boy now skinny Maui Lobster boy.
When hot, by herself, chiropractor, tourist chick asks you "what is fun to do here at night?" after unashamedly flirting with you all day, setting your neck like Jet Lee (who happens to be her God Uncle), and taking pictures of you all day... You DO NOT give her a list of fun things to do like a big dumb idiot, instead, you get her phone number and tell her that when you are done cleaning the boat you will call her and SHOW her what is fun to do in this town at night! Big dumb idiot...
Is that a run on sentence?
Does Hollywood have ANY original ideas anymore?
I already miss my Mom.
When everything sucks, go surf.
But this way I've done most the things I want to do and I still have something to look forward to.
Oh the things I'll do to get good tips...I regret nothing.
Go Blackhawks! Although the Flyers squeaking into the playoffs with a last game of season shootout win and their improbable run through the playoffs has been great. Should be a good Stanley Cup.
Lifetime total # of bee stings suffered while surfing: 3
Good to see you again Honu!
Homelessness sucks. Ridiculously un-fun.
Nobody panic...But it's official, there is severe flower shortage in HI.
Open ended statement/question to peak your curiosity and get you to comment.
Why can't they just put a big cork in the dang oil pipe!
GOOOOO RSL!
"Nobody listens to Turtle..."
Why is the name Dallon so hard for tourists? Maybe I should go by George so I don't have to repeat my name 3 times every time I introduce myself.
Add sail boat crew and fitness trainer to my long, random list of jobs...I really am a jack of all trades and a master of none.
America, let's believe in something again.
I gotta thing for women's lacrosse...
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
One of These Is Not Like the Other.
I did some blog stalking the other day and realized something that opened my eyes... I perused the worldwide digital autobiography/memoirs of all my friends and their friends and some complete strangers as well, and it dawned on me that one of these is not like the others. The blogging world is a popular place for females: single girls, married girls, mothers and every other sort of XXs...it is NOT however, a place where the young single male tends to spend his time, or any male for that matter. The occasional reference of "my husband" is as about as close as they come. So, the one of these that is not like the other of course...is me. I could come up with reasons (excuses) for why I have a blog, they are going to sound almost exactly like my reasons for joining myspace, and then facebook. To keep in touch with old friends of course. While that may be true, let's face it...we are all really just a little self centered and we feel more important in this world and a little better about ourselves when we get a message, a notification, a picture comment, or the creme de la creme...a friend request! (is anyone else sourly dissapointed when instead of some gorgeous hottie who came across a picture of you and thought you were sexy and interesting, it's just some obscure high school classmate you haven't seen since then and didn't ever talk to anyways? I know I am...I'm single though so maybe you're different) Anyways, back to the blogging matter at hand. Seriously, look at everyone's blogs, the lists of links to other blogs on the side? Read them...they are all either The Johnson Family, or John and Joan, or just Joan. But do you see ANY (besides mine) that are just a dude? Nope. I don't have my pregnancy progression pictures, or cute pictures of my kid's first steps, or recipes of the great new dessert I just made. I don't have a combination of our names as a catchy blog title, family updates, domestic projects, bridal pictures, craft projects, or much else in my blog of great lifetime importance...Yet, I still have a blog, and I think it's fun and my mom likes it so I'm still going to do it!
And on another slightly related note...Some peeps and I got together a few weeks back because Christie is awesome and likes to host get togethers and John likes to grill yummies from Christie's cookbook, and also kinda for a goodbye party. Anyways it was pretty awesome because 8 of my best fellas were there, first time that many of us have been together for many moons. But the point of my rambling is this; back in the day we were a rowdy croud - get togethers were loud and boisterous with bands and crowds and hilarious antics only LDS kids could come up with sober. And we were mostly care free. At this gathering, replace the crowd of strangers with 11 children 3 and under and significant others, the loud noise with light conversation and an occasional baby crying, and the hilarious antics with stories reminiscing about hilarious antics. A drastic eye opening again? Well, not drastic, but quite gradual. I've watched all my friends meet girls, get careers, settle down, get married, have kids, buy homes etc. Which is all really awesome and they are all really happy. As the only single person at the pow wow I couldn't help but feel a little left out; in a group where I used to feel like a ring leader, I felt a little out of place. I do not live like the people who are my best friends in this whole world, I have not had the same experiences as them and honestly it stirred up some feelings in me I've never experienced before. I thought long and hard about my life. That was good. Because I realized that though different than theirs, my life is mine and it's pretty awesome. By the way, I'm in Kauai right now...I'm on vacation. Tomorrow though I have to go home to Maui...bummer.
p.s. any gorgeous hotties out there that think I'm sexy and interesting, please fill out my girlfriend application and add me as a friend on facebook! thank you.
Some photogenic evidence. aka good times...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Aloha, Aloha.
I'm heading back to Maui today. Goodbye everyone in Utah, everyone in Maui I'll see you tomorrow!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Maui: Episodes 11-12
It's long overdue but here is the next installment of my series of Maui slideshows. Number 11 features my Dad and Brother who came out for a couple of weeks. Between the three of us we took a lot of pictures so there will be several episodes of this two week period. Enjoy!
Episode 11
Episode 12
Episode 11
Episode 12
Friday, April 2, 2010
Girlfriend Application/Test.
Section 1: General info.
Are you a skier?
(To be qualified as a skier you must possess ski equipment, consider skiing a favorite activity, and ski frequently. Snowboarders may be considered)
Does your father have lots and lots of money and buy you everything you want?
(if answer is yes, don't bother continuing)
Do YOU think that you are pretty?
Have you lived out of your parents' house for at least 5 years?
Do you believe in fidelity?
For a successful relationship, are you willing to make an effort, or is that just my job?
Rate each of the following by how important they are to you by circling the number.
1 being super-duper very important, and 5 being completely unimportant.
1 2 3 4 5 My looks
1 2 3 4 5 My personality
1 2 3 4 5 The general state of my feet (smell, appearance, grooming)
1 2 3 4 5 My career
1 2 3 4 5 How often I appeared in my high school yearbook
1 2 3 4 5 How I honor my priesthood
1 2 3 4 5 My social status
1 2 3 4 5 My sense of adventure
1 2 3 4 5 My spirituality
1 2 3 4 5 How straight and white my teeth are
1 2 3 4 5 My sense of humor
1 2 3 4 5 My relationship with my family
1 2 3 4 5 The size of diamond I give you on engagement ring
1 2 3 4 5 How much I can bench press
1 2 3 4 5 How I look in a speedo while riding a white horse on a sunset beach
1 2 3 4 5 The way I treat you
1 2 3 4 5 The way I treat everyone else
1 2 3 4 5 My political opinions (or lack thereof)
1 2 3 4 5 What your family thinks of me
1 2 3 4 5 My cooking skills
1 2 3 4 5 How hairy my back is
1 2 3 4 5 How much hair is still on my head
1 2 3 4 5 My taste in music
1 2 3 4 5 How well we get along together
1 2 3 4 5 Having common interests
1 2 3 4 5 Sharing our uncommon interests
1 2 3 4 5 The mistakes I've made in the past
1 2 3 4 5 My breath in the morning
1 2 3 4 5 My honesty and loyalty
1 2 3 4 5 My skiing skills
1 2 3 4 5 My personal hygiene
1 2 3 4 5 My handyman skills
1 2 3 4 5 The compatibility of our astrological signs
Section 2: Multiple Choice
1. I unknowingly say or do something that really upsets you. Do you:
A. Be mean to me until I finally figure out what I did to deserve all the meanness. Because I should just know.
B. Pretend nothing is wrong when you're with me but cry and be super sad whenever you're alone.
C. Cry and be mean all the time but tell me nothing is wrong when I ask you what is bothering you.
D. Tell me immediately that you don't like what I did/said and help me understand your point of view so I can do what I need to to make it up and/or work it out.
2. For our weekly date night it is your turn to choose what to do. Choose one of the following:A. Stay in and watch some movie about your sister's pants and traveling, put make up on me because you are jealous of my long eyelashes, and gorge on ice cream because your mad because YOU thought that the other girl at the gym today looked better than you in the same new workout pants you bought yesterday.
B. Go to the Real or Jazz game, get on the jumbotron for dancing like idiots. Then see how many dollar menus we can order from in 20 minutes. Then take all our dollar menu items to homeless people around town. Race electric carts around the grocery store and pretend to get in a big fight about who has the fattest ankles when an employee tries to make us stop. Then go shoot the tube in the dark. Then go home and grill up some steaks. None of this was planned of course.
C. Go to Chili's and a movie.
D. Other. (Please Specify)
3. What is the most important to you?A. The clothes I wear when we are in public.
B. My career choice and how much money I am earning or will potentially earn.
C. The way I treat you and how I make you feel.
D. What others think about you because you are dating me.
4. It has been a couple of days since we have seen each other. When you first see me do you:
A. Scream and giggle, run up to me and jump into my arms wrapping your legs around me because you are just so darn excited to see me.
B. Give me a hug and tell me I really need to get a haircut.
C. Get mad at me for not warning you that I would see you so you could do your hair and put on make up first.
D. Say hello but generally ignore me because someone at work made you mad today.
5. Which of the following TV shows would you prefer to watch:
A. Jersey Shore
B. Man vs. Wild
C. American Idol
D. America's Next Top Model
6. We have a free weekend and want to do something fun. What do you want to do?
A. Drive to San Diego to surf.
B. Go to Moab to Mt. bike, river raft, and hike.
C. Go backpacking
D. None of the above.
E. Any of the above.
7. My guy friends are over, what do you do?
A. Leave because it smells like boy.
B. Join in the friendly banter, pick up a controller, and try to get to know my friends better.
C. Sit ornery in the corner because I'm not giving you enough attention.
D. Go into the kitchen and bake cookies because that's the only thing you can think of to make my friends like you.
8. I am playing in an athletic event, what are you doing?
A. Cheering for me from the stands, you never miss a game.
B. Playing on my team with me.
C. Hanging out with your friends, but you'll care about how the game went when you see me.
D. Any of the above. But you hope that it is B.
9. You have something very important to tell me. How do you do it?
A. Send me a text message.
B. Send me a facebook message.
C. Call me.
D. Call me to tell me you want to come over, (or me to go over there) so we can talk in person.
10. On our first date do you:
A. Send me a text message a few hours before I pick you up to tell me you can't come anymore.
B. Mentally go through your predetermined checklist of what a perfect man should be, and decide before the end of the night if I qualify or not. Because after all, a few hours is all you need to determine my worth as a human being and as a potential match for you. You're perfect so I should be too.
C. Try to be yourself and just have as much fun as you can, trying to get to know me without judging me or worrying what I am thinking about you, because you can tell I'm doing the same.
D. Suddenly get ill and ask me to take you home because my car isn't nice enough, the restaurant wasn't fancy enough, and my nose is too big.
11. You are feeling very bad about something, what do you want/expect me to do?
A. Tell you that you are being stupid for being upset about something so meaningless.
B. Patiently listen to you explain your feelings about the issue, help you feel validated in your feelings, and accept how you feel while only offering my opinion on the subject if you ask for it.
C. Tell you exactly what I think you should do to fix the problem.
D. Call up your mom, sister, or best friend and tell them to talk to you. I don't have a clue what craziness is going on inside your estrogen filled head.
12. We are at the lake, pool, or beach for the first time this summer, do you:
A. Refuse to put on a swim suit because you haven't lost your winter fat yet
B. Only get in knee deep because you already did your hair today and don't want to mess it up.
C. Lay on the ground the whole time and work on your tan.
D. Swim, jump, frolic, play, wake, surf, dive, throw, giggle, splash, ride, and just have a great time playing!
13. What is the best way for us to solve a dispute or deal with a disagreement.
A. Ignore the issue and quietly get more mad at each other while pretending everything is ok.
B. Yell and scream at each other until someone wins.
C. Patiently and caringly talk about the issue and both try to understand each others side. Listen to each other without interrupting. Then discuss options that will involve meeting in the middle, and both giving a little until we have come up with a solution together. Be honest and respectful.
D. Be too prideful, break up because we are just too different, then spend months and months wishing we weren't so stupid and that we would have just talked it out, but still be to proud to apologize.
14. Choose the answer that best finishes this sentence: "I like to be physically active because..."
A. My friend told me it is a healthier way than purging to make boys think I look good.
B. It is fun for me, it makes me feel good, and it helps me be healthy. I do it for me.
C. I am not physically active, I'd rather watch Glee and chat on facebook.
D. I want other people to see how good I look so they will like me.
15. Choose the answer that best describes you.
A. I am a happy cheerful girl, I love life. I love to have fun and be silly but I also work hard on the things that are important to me. I have high standards. I love my God and my family and friends. I believe in myself and I expect to be treated with respect. I have goals and ambitions. I like to look pretty and dress up but I also don't mind getting dirty. I understand I'm not perfect and don't expect others to be, as long as we are trying our best. I know life can be difficult but I relish opportunities to learn and grow from those hardships.
B. I wish I was prettier. I wish I was skinnier. I wish I had blond hair. I wish I had 10 toes.
C. I am perfect in every way and only other perfect people deserve to be around me. I don't have to work hard at everything, those that are below me should have to do it all. Everyone loves me because I am pretty and I have expensive things. The world revolves around me.
D. I pretend to be nice and sweet, but after you get to know me you'll see that I am just mean.
Section 3: Definitions (match the word/phrase with it's definition)
a. The most important people on the earth to you.
b. A fun thing to participate in and sometimes watch but not something to ever take so seriously that it is all you think about.
c. An awesome, fun thing to do while watching movies, riding ski lifts, in a backseat, etc. But always done with respect and kept virtuous.
d. A fun activity to get away from the world, enjoy nature and good company, eat some great dutch oven, and relax.
e. Something you do every Sunday, but also a way of life that guides you to making wise decisions, comforts you, gives you morale guidelines, gives you hope and makes you happy.
f. Something that is often necessary, but that is often fun to do as long as it isn't excessive, too expensive and is done in moderation.
g. SKI SEASON!
h. Stupid. But maybe once in awhile mildly entertaining.
Section 4: Short Essay
Describe in your own words the off-sides rule in soccer.
In the cartoon "Ducktales", what is Uncle Scrooge's favorite pastime?
Name at least 5 presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Finish this sentence. "To me, facebook is..."
We have been dating for two months, but we have not really discussed exclusivity yet. Another boy asks you out on a date. What do you do?
One of my nieces/nephews just accidentally threw up on you. What do you do?
You are riding a mt. bike down a steep hill. Describe how you will use the left and right brake levers.
Describe how ridiculously good looking I am. What is your favorite part about me - My six pack abs, my bulging biceps, my ripped calves, my adorable belly button, or other (please specify with details)?
Why should you be my girlfriend?
Explain why a girlfriend application like this one, if I really thought was real and not just a silly joke, would be worthless and completely hypocritical of me.
Are you a skier?
(To be qualified as a skier you must possess ski equipment, consider skiing a favorite activity, and ski frequently. Snowboarders may be considered)
Does your father have lots and lots of money and buy you everything you want?
(if answer is yes, don't bother continuing)
Do YOU think that you are pretty?
Have you lived out of your parents' house for at least 5 years?
Do you believe in fidelity?
For a successful relationship, are you willing to make an effort, or is that just my job?
Rate each of the following by how important they are to you by circling the number.
1 being super-duper very important, and 5 being completely unimportant.
1 2 3 4 5 My looks
1 2 3 4 5 My personality
1 2 3 4 5 The general state of my feet (smell, appearance, grooming)
1 2 3 4 5 My career
1 2 3 4 5 How often I appeared in my high school yearbook
1 2 3 4 5 How I honor my priesthood
1 2 3 4 5 My social status
1 2 3 4 5 My sense of adventure
1 2 3 4 5 My spirituality
1 2 3 4 5 How straight and white my teeth are
1 2 3 4 5 My sense of humor
1 2 3 4 5 My relationship with my family
1 2 3 4 5 The size of diamond I give you on engagement ring
1 2 3 4 5 How much I can bench press
1 2 3 4 5 How I look in a speedo while riding a white horse on a sunset beach
1 2 3 4 5 The way I treat you
1 2 3 4 5 The way I treat everyone else
1 2 3 4 5 My political opinions (or lack thereof)
1 2 3 4 5 What your family thinks of me
1 2 3 4 5 My cooking skills
1 2 3 4 5 How hairy my back is
1 2 3 4 5 How much hair is still on my head
1 2 3 4 5 My taste in music
1 2 3 4 5 How well we get along together
1 2 3 4 5 Having common interests
1 2 3 4 5 Sharing our uncommon interests
1 2 3 4 5 The mistakes I've made in the past
1 2 3 4 5 My breath in the morning
1 2 3 4 5 My honesty and loyalty
1 2 3 4 5 My skiing skills
1 2 3 4 5 My personal hygiene
1 2 3 4 5 My handyman skills
1 2 3 4 5 The compatibility of our astrological signs
Section 2: Multiple Choice
1. I unknowingly say or do something that really upsets you. Do you:
A. Be mean to me until I finally figure out what I did to deserve all the meanness. Because I should just know.
B. Pretend nothing is wrong when you're with me but cry and be super sad whenever you're alone.
C. Cry and be mean all the time but tell me nothing is wrong when I ask you what is bothering you.
D. Tell me immediately that you don't like what I did/said and help me understand your point of view so I can do what I need to to make it up and/or work it out.
2. For our weekly date night it is your turn to choose what to do. Choose one of the following:A. Stay in and watch some movie about your sister's pants and traveling, put make up on me because you are jealous of my long eyelashes, and gorge on ice cream because your mad because YOU thought that the other girl at the gym today looked better than you in the same new workout pants you bought yesterday.
B. Go to the Real or Jazz game, get on the jumbotron for dancing like idiots. Then see how many dollar menus we can order from in 20 minutes. Then take all our dollar menu items to homeless people around town. Race electric carts around the grocery store and pretend to get in a big fight about who has the fattest ankles when an employee tries to make us stop. Then go shoot the tube in the dark. Then go home and grill up some steaks. None of this was planned of course.
C. Go to Chili's and a movie.
D. Other. (Please Specify)
3. What is the most important to you?A. The clothes I wear when we are in public.
B. My career choice and how much money I am earning or will potentially earn.
C. The way I treat you and how I make you feel.
D. What others think about you because you are dating me.
4. It has been a couple of days since we have seen each other. When you first see me do you:
A. Scream and giggle, run up to me and jump into my arms wrapping your legs around me because you are just so darn excited to see me.
B. Give me a hug and tell me I really need to get a haircut.
C. Get mad at me for not warning you that I would see you so you could do your hair and put on make up first.
D. Say hello but generally ignore me because someone at work made you mad today.
5. Which of the following TV shows would you prefer to watch:
A. Jersey Shore
B. Man vs. Wild
C. American Idol
D. America's Next Top Model
6. We have a free weekend and want to do something fun. What do you want to do?
A. Drive to San Diego to surf.
B. Go to Moab to Mt. bike, river raft, and hike.
C. Go backpacking
D. None of the above.
E. Any of the above.
7. My guy friends are over, what do you do?
A. Leave because it smells like boy.
B. Join in the friendly banter, pick up a controller, and try to get to know my friends better.
C. Sit ornery in the corner because I'm not giving you enough attention.
D. Go into the kitchen and bake cookies because that's the only thing you can think of to make my friends like you.
8. I am playing in an athletic event, what are you doing?
A. Cheering for me from the stands, you never miss a game.
B. Playing on my team with me.
C. Hanging out with your friends, but you'll care about how the game went when you see me.
D. Any of the above. But you hope that it is B.
9. You have something very important to tell me. How do you do it?
A. Send me a text message.
B. Send me a facebook message.
C. Call me.
D. Call me to tell me you want to come over, (or me to go over there) so we can talk in person.
10. On our first date do you:
A. Send me a text message a few hours before I pick you up to tell me you can't come anymore.
B. Mentally go through your predetermined checklist of what a perfect man should be, and decide before the end of the night if I qualify or not. Because after all, a few hours is all you need to determine my worth as a human being and as a potential match for you. You're perfect so I should be too.
C. Try to be yourself and just have as much fun as you can, trying to get to know me without judging me or worrying what I am thinking about you, because you can tell I'm doing the same.
D. Suddenly get ill and ask me to take you home because my car isn't nice enough, the restaurant wasn't fancy enough, and my nose is too big.
11. You are feeling very bad about something, what do you want/expect me to do?
A. Tell you that you are being stupid for being upset about something so meaningless.
B. Patiently listen to you explain your feelings about the issue, help you feel validated in your feelings, and accept how you feel while only offering my opinion on the subject if you ask for it.
C. Tell you exactly what I think you should do to fix the problem.
D. Call up your mom, sister, or best friend and tell them to talk to you. I don't have a clue what craziness is going on inside your estrogen filled head.
12. We are at the lake, pool, or beach for the first time this summer, do you:
A. Refuse to put on a swim suit because you haven't lost your winter fat yet
B. Only get in knee deep because you already did your hair today and don't want to mess it up.
C. Lay on the ground the whole time and work on your tan.
D. Swim, jump, frolic, play, wake, surf, dive, throw, giggle, splash, ride, and just have a great time playing!
13. What is the best way for us to solve a dispute or deal with a disagreement.
A. Ignore the issue and quietly get more mad at each other while pretending everything is ok.
B. Yell and scream at each other until someone wins.
C. Patiently and caringly talk about the issue and both try to understand each others side. Listen to each other without interrupting. Then discuss options that will involve meeting in the middle, and both giving a little until we have come up with a solution together. Be honest and respectful.
D. Be too prideful, break up because we are just too different, then spend months and months wishing we weren't so stupid and that we would have just talked it out, but still be to proud to apologize.
14. Choose the answer that best finishes this sentence: "I like to be physically active because..."
A. My friend told me it is a healthier way than purging to make boys think I look good.
B. It is fun for me, it makes me feel good, and it helps me be healthy. I do it for me.
C. I am not physically active, I'd rather watch Glee and chat on facebook.
D. I want other people to see how good I look so they will like me.
15. Choose the answer that best describes you.
A. I am a happy cheerful girl, I love life. I love to have fun and be silly but I also work hard on the things that are important to me. I have high standards. I love my God and my family and friends. I believe in myself and I expect to be treated with respect. I have goals and ambitions. I like to look pretty and dress up but I also don't mind getting dirty. I understand I'm not perfect and don't expect others to be, as long as we are trying our best. I know life can be difficult but I relish opportunities to learn and grow from those hardships.
B. I wish I was prettier. I wish I was skinnier. I wish I had blond hair. I wish I had 10 toes.
C. I am perfect in every way and only other perfect people deserve to be around me. I don't have to work hard at everything, those that are below me should have to do it all. Everyone loves me because I am pretty and I have expensive things. The world revolves around me.
D. I pretend to be nice and sweet, but after you get to know me you'll see that I am just mean.
Section 3: Definitions (match the word/phrase with it's definition)
- winter
- sports
- reality TV
- camping
- church
- family
- shopping
- cuddling
a. The most important people on the earth to you.
b. A fun thing to participate in and sometimes watch but not something to ever take so seriously that it is all you think about.
c. An awesome, fun thing to do while watching movies, riding ski lifts, in a backseat, etc. But always done with respect and kept virtuous.
d. A fun activity to get away from the world, enjoy nature and good company, eat some great dutch oven, and relax.
e. Something you do every Sunday, but also a way of life that guides you to making wise decisions, comforts you, gives you morale guidelines, gives you hope and makes you happy.
f. Something that is often necessary, but that is often fun to do as long as it isn't excessive, too expensive and is done in moderation.
g. SKI SEASON!
h. Stupid. But maybe once in awhile mildly entertaining.
Section 4: Short Essay
Describe in your own words the off-sides rule in soccer.
In the cartoon "Ducktales", what is Uncle Scrooge's favorite pastime?
Name at least 5 presidents of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
Finish this sentence. "To me, facebook is..."
We have been dating for two months, but we have not really discussed exclusivity yet. Another boy asks you out on a date. What do you do?
One of my nieces/nephews just accidentally threw up on you. What do you do?
You are riding a mt. bike down a steep hill. Describe how you will use the left and right brake levers.
Describe how ridiculously good looking I am. What is your favorite part about me - My six pack abs, my bulging biceps, my ripped calves, my adorable belly button, or other (please specify with details)?
Why should you be my girlfriend?
Explain why a girlfriend application like this one, if I really thought was real and not just a silly joke, would be worthless and completely hypocritical of me.
PowPow.
This is the song that was playing when I skied this run and I just felt that I should make a little video. Cinematography is horrible but you get the idea, I did get the two trees I hit though! It was a pretty epic April Fools day. Mostly though, this is to make Reed mad, he was doing homework or something stupid like that. Haha Reed, you fool.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
100 Mundane Facts About Me.
In no particular order...
- I've had somewhere's in the range of 100 stitches...in my head
- The only other place I've had stitches - my left butt cheek...twice.
- I made 3x more $ in my last year of college than I did in my first year out.
- I get my sci-fi nerd fix with Legend of the Seeker
- I just got invited to my ten year high school reunion...!
- I have 16+2 nieces and nephews
- Besides Utah, the only states I've had addresses in are Kansas, Alaska, and Hawaii.
- In the 8th grade I crashed my bike on the way to school on picture day, AWESOME bloody face picture as the result!
- Once, I went golfing with the MLS Champions.
- I never knew one grandpa and all my grandparents are gone now.
- I currently have a perfectly clean driving record
- I weigh 15 pounds less now than I did in high school
- I've never paid for popcorn at a movie theater, but I almost always get popcorn at movie theaters. Figure it out.
- I'm very shy with strangers...still.
- I'm a horrible salesman.
- I once got caught stealing and felt horrible about it for years and years afterward.
- I had more "girlfriends" in grade school than I did in High school.
- I love to read history books and watch the history channel
- Most jobs I've had deal with teaching something to kids, but I don't want to be a teacher.
- I was always a hockey player for Halloween because I love hockey, but mostly because the roller blades made me fast so I got WAY more candy.
- I haven't been on a date in a year. I don't really mind that...
- Almost everything I do and like is because my brother did or liked it first.
- I'd rather go backpacking than go on a cruise.
- I still haven't used my college degree.
- I lettered 6 times in High School.
- I think my family is pretty dang awesome. My Parents have always been great, my brother has always been my role model, and my three sisters are just the best. They are all nerds though.
- I have lots of hobbies that require equipment, but I've never been partial to any brand of anything.
- I think the humankind is moving towards the way they are in Wall-E, and it makes me sad.
- I can still remember my best friend from grade school's phone number.
- When I saw spiders in my bedroom my big sister would let me sleep in her bed with her, but I had to sleep at the foot of the bed because she was still taller and my feet didn't reach her face. I thought it was great, thanks sis.
- I got sent to the principals office two weeks after I graduated. I did NOT fulfill my punishment. Reed was there too.
- My favorite song as a kid was "Born In America" by Neil Diamond. I'm still very patriotic.
- I don't ever cry because of pain, but the simplest sad or happy things make me gush like a fountain, just thinking about Mufasa dying brings tears. I think I got that from my mom.
- I had the coolest fort in the whole world. It was a huge hole in the ground covered with a billboard and other boards with a trap door and a ladder into it. It was originally dug by my brother and his friends. I got in trouble and the cops filled it in. That made me cry.
- I don't really remember getting in trouble very much though.
- I had a crush on a girl for years and years, I don't think she ever knew.
- I've never driven a snowmobile.
- I played water polo for Utah State
- I was the lead singer in a band for three years. I don't like singing and I'm not good at it, but it was really fun anyway.
- I've never crashed my car, but two other people have crashed my cars.
- While waiting in line for a ride at Disneyland I fell asleep leaning against a fence and the people I was with left me there. When I woke up I had no idea where anyone was.
- Hockey is my favorite sport to play. My first experience with hockey was when my brother took me to a Golden Eagles game, there were 7 fights in the game (blood got splattered on the glass in front of us), and two fights in the stands, plus Jason Muzzati gave us his broken goalie stick. It was awesome.
- I'm no good at it but I love to jump off the cliffs! We estimated my highest at 80 feet. Highest backflip was estimated at 60 feet. That one didn't go well though. I spent two weeks afterwards in extreme pain. Reed had to help me out of bed every morning.
- It doesn't really matter how much I eat, I'm still always hungry, and I never gain weight.
- Some nicknames I've had in life are Dough Boy because I'm very ticklish, Loppy because I'm not very symmetrical, and Yard Sale because of my skiing.
- I earned my Eagle Scout award when I was 14.
- I made a dirt bike track around the fields behind my house just by riding over it hundreds of times. It was awesome.
- In the second grade the teacher had left the room so I kissed a girl while standing on top of my desk in front of the whole class, I don't remember why though.
- I once got a ring from the dentist's office and gave it to a girl in the fourth grade, in the twelfth grade she still wore it, kinda creeped me out a bit.
- I was really weird in Jr. High, didn't like it much...High School though was a blast for me, college was even better.
- In college I didn't buy a single textbook my last two years.
- Sleepwalking was the cause of many of the stitches from number 1.
- I can hear every word spoken by anyone in my roommates room downstairs and right now I REALLY wish that I couldn't...it's awkward.
- I have received a $100 tip.
- Despite being a competitive swimmer for 8 years, I never once shaved anything except for my head.
- I've planned 4 trips to Havasupai...I've never been to Havasupai.
- Everyone in my immediate family still live within 50 miles of each other, Me being the furthest away.
- When I open a bag of chips, I usually eat the whole bag.
- I've lived in my car for four months.
- I can speak Bulgarian, well kind of...
- One of my legs is longer than the other, but that has nothing to do with my nickname Loppy.
- My dad, brother and grandpas are all VFW's. That makes me proud.
- I own 5 pairs of skis, and at least 10 hockey sticks.
- Things I've taught: English, swimming, skiing, soccer, lacrosse, football, basketball, volleyball, baseball, golf, tennis, jump rope, racquetball, wallyball, ultimate frisbee, ropes course, yoga, hip hop dance, conditioning, snorkeling, and gospel principles.
- I almost always get green cakes for my birthday.
- 66 is Mario Lemioux's number. He was my favorite hockey player.
- Cars I've owned: 1991 Chevy Corsica, 1993 Jeep Grand Cherokee, 1997 Honda Passport, 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee.
- My house in college was also a concert venue.
- My parents still live in the same house they did when I was born, I still go there almost weekly.
- I used to work for the Coast Guard.
- I stick my tongue out when concentrating. I only know this because people point it out and laugh at me. I have no conscious recollection of every doing it.
- Jobs I've had: lifeguard, swim instructor, office furniture assembler and deliverer, peon construction worker, cook in a ski lodge, pipe layer, photo lab technician, exercise machine tester, production carpentry, recreation specialist, soccer official, assistant to the director of marketing and promotions, Game day/sponsorship fulfillment intern, Sports camp supervisor, Soccer gym manager, ski instructor, journeyman, merchandiser, soccer coach, 1st mate boat crew, fitness trainer, cocktail server, bartender.
- I generally enjoy yard work and I like growing gardens. I'd like to have a big garden someday and it's important to me that I have a nice yard.
- My teeth are much worse now than they were before I had braces in Jr. High.
- I've only ever broken two bones.
- I've only ever been in one fight, it was in the 6th grade.
- I was born in 1982. Also of note that year:
- Aston Villa wins the European Cup beating Bayern Munich 1–0.
- Israel invades Lebanon...again.
- Argentina invades and occupies the Falkland Islands. The islands remain British today.
- Italy defeats West Germany 3-1 in the 12th World Cup in Spain. My birth gets more media coverage in America than it does.
- The Equal Rights Amendment fails to gain ratification in the required minimum of 38 states by the predetermined deadline in 1982. Women are still mad.
- The International Whaling Commission decides to end commercial whaling. Tourists in Hawaii and Alaska celebrate. Also found celebrating...the Whales.
- The first CDs are released to the public in Germany. Everyone thinks they're stupid.
- EPCOT Center opens in Orlando Florida. Ugh...
- The Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington DC is dedicated. It's about time.
- Michael Jackson releases Thriller. He is scared so badly by his own video he slowly turns white.
- The world is introduced to the Toyota Camry. It's breaks work just fine.
- At the University of Utah, for the first time a man is given a permanent artificial heart. 61 year old Barney Clark lives 161 days with the device.
- The Computer wins Time Magazines "Man of the Year" award. This is the unofficial beginning of the end of normal human interaction. Somewhere in the underworld, the evil seeds of facebook, myspace, and twitter are formed.
- I've only been in my hometown for the 4th of July 3 times. The first time wasn't until I was 18. Since High school, I've only been home for my birthday 3 times.
- I got hit in the ear by a tv while in my car and the car was flipping sideways down the freeway. I got a cut inside my ear, so blood was coming out. Everyone thought I had brain trauma. I didn't know what was going on. Later that night, we almost got hit by a tire that came off of someone's car. Wild night, everyone was ok.
- 5 of my ex-girlfriends married the guys they dated right after me. I only have 5 ex-girlfriends...your welcome ladies.
- My Mother's Great Grandpa wrote several of the hymns in the LDS hymnbook. My favorite is "The Day Dawn Is Breaking".
- In school I used to get put in time out on purpose because it was cozy in there and I could take a nap. This was in the 8th grade...that teacher was weird.
- I own more hoodies than shirts.
- I'm very bad with names, I usually forget a new name within seconds of first hearing it. I have to concentrate very hard to memorize it when I first hear it. It's hard for me. This usually makes for an embarrassing situation later.
- I love everything water. Swimming, surfing, snorkeling, wake boarding, polo, diving, cliff jumping, oceans, lakes, river rafting, scuba diving, etc. I could sit and watch a river or waves for hours, water fascinates me.
- Started soccer at 5, swimming at 8, hockey at 12, polo at 24. Other organized sports I've played are basketball and baseball.
- I've always wanted a flying squirrel. I think it would be the coolest pet ever. He could live in my pocket! When I get home, he'll fly off his perch and land on my shoulder and scamper around squeaking happily. Alas, my frequent moving prevents me from acquiring the furry companion.
- I'm not very opinionated and I hate confrontation. I'm the guy who will just eat my food if they get my order wrong instead of sending it back. I think this makes my life a little more stress free but it also means I get taken advantage of a lot. I feel I'm better now at standing up for myself than I ever have been though.
- I don't feel nearly as old as I am. Never have, guess thats kinda normal though.
- It takes me forever to fall asleep, and I can't sleep very well in cars, planes, or anywhere other than my own bed. It's annoying. I can be completely exhausted and still lay in bed for over an hour before falling asleep.
- I've been wearing an RSL bracelet since I went to the championship game in Seattle last season. I won't take it off until we win it all again.
- I think I'm pretty good with kids. I can keep them entertained and get them to stop crying and start laughing pretty well. However, the thought of having my own kids scares the crap out of me. As I'm dealing with kids I always know that before the end of the day I don't have to worry about them anymore. I have a profound respect for my parents, and all parents.
- I'm not very good with big words, I should carry a thesasorous to help me out. Fachicous?
- I don't really have a temper and I don't recall ever really being in a real fight/argument with anyone. It would really take a lot to piss me off. Sometimes though, this has been a bad thing.
- I called 911 three times in Kansas City to report houses on fire.
- I'm pretty sure that even if I had millions of dollars I would still probably shop for clothes at DI or Ross, still order from the dollar menu, still buy the generic brand cereals, still turn the heater off and get an extra blanket, still not pay for TV, and still work at a ski resort to get the free pass.
- I once urinated in the middle of a freeway, this act was closely related to the reactions of my friends from number 79.
- I've never been to Lake Powell, this makes me sad. I'm quite familiar with Flaming Gorge though.
- I like to pretend I'm a river guide. Once while running the snake everyone fell out. Everyone was soon back in the raft until I realized we were one person short. Carrie popped up about 15 seconds later and 50 yards away. I had to swim after her, she was very close to drowned. I think she still kinda has a water phobia. I still pretend to be a river guide.
- This list took me a month to make.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
If only all decisions were this awesome!
I have a dilemma...
The ski resort closes on April 10th so I only have about 20 days to figure my summer out. I still have my other job as a manager and ref at the soccer gym but that place doesn't have very much work in the summer and I'd prefer to not have to be there anyway. So I need some help deciding what to do this summer. Here are the plans so far:
Plan A: Work at a ski resort in New Zealand
I would work at the ski resort in NZ from June to October. From April to June I would spend a few weeks back in Maui and then a few more weeks in Samoa with Reed's parents. This obviously is what I really want to do this summer, I have sent several applications to resorts in New Zealand unfortunately I didn't get my level 2 certification in time so that option is not looking as plausible.
Plan B: Just go back to Maui and do the same thing that I did last summer. This is quite possibly the most awesome plan B ever. I hope that this plan would still include Samoa.
Plan C: Go to guide school and work in Jackson or Moab as a river guide. I have the experience and the connections to make this one very plausible. Downfall would be rent in Jackson, it's not cheap. I'm not sure what it's like in Moab. This option would most definitely involve my normal favorite summer activities of backpacking and mountain biking.
Plan D: Stay in Utah and coach soccer teams. Forza Soccer club already wants to give me a team in April. It's about 500-800 per month per team for about 3-5 hours of work per week. This option would HAVE to include a Belize surf trip. Or some sort of surf trip. And it would be cool to be with friends and family and get to go do all my favorite Utah summer activities. This plan might also include looking for a permanent Utah job...that sounds smart but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, and honestly, I've never really stopped looking for a permanent job and I have found absolutely NOTHING. It's quite discouraging...
Plan E: Backpack Europe. This plan might not be very plausible simply on account of money, and mostly because I doubt I could find anyone to do it with me, and I wouldn't want to do it alone. But seriously, land in London and 2-3 months later fly home from Cairo. Whatever goes in between!
So far those are the plans. The awesome part is that none of them are really bad options, whatever happens this summer should be awesome. And I think the mostly likely event will be a mixture of the plans somehow. I know that no matter what I am going back to Maui, at least for a little while, and I would love to do the Samoa thing as well. So we'll see, I guess it's kind of exciting, but at the same time, I gotta get it figured out... For the moment, I'm waiting to hear word from the Kiwis. Crossing my fingers!
What would you do?
The ski resort closes on April 10th so I only have about 20 days to figure my summer out. I still have my other job as a manager and ref at the soccer gym but that place doesn't have very much work in the summer and I'd prefer to not have to be there anyway. So I need some help deciding what to do this summer. Here are the plans so far:
Plan A: Work at a ski resort in New Zealand
I would work at the ski resort in NZ from June to October. From April to June I would spend a few weeks back in Maui and then a few more weeks in Samoa with Reed's parents. This obviously is what I really want to do this summer, I have sent several applications to resorts in New Zealand unfortunately I didn't get my level 2 certification in time so that option is not looking as plausible.
Plan B: Just go back to Maui and do the same thing that I did last summer. This is quite possibly the most awesome plan B ever. I hope that this plan would still include Samoa.
Plan C: Go to guide school and work in Jackson or Moab as a river guide. I have the experience and the connections to make this one very plausible. Downfall would be rent in Jackson, it's not cheap. I'm not sure what it's like in Moab. This option would most definitely involve my normal favorite summer activities of backpacking and mountain biking.
Plan D: Stay in Utah and coach soccer teams. Forza Soccer club already wants to give me a team in April. It's about 500-800 per month per team for about 3-5 hours of work per week. This option would HAVE to include a Belize surf trip. Or some sort of surf trip. And it would be cool to be with friends and family and get to go do all my favorite Utah summer activities. This plan might also include looking for a permanent Utah job...that sounds smart but I don't know if I'm ready for that yet, and honestly, I've never really stopped looking for a permanent job and I have found absolutely NOTHING. It's quite discouraging...
Plan E: Backpack Europe. This plan might not be very plausible simply on account of money, and mostly because I doubt I could find anyone to do it with me, and I wouldn't want to do it alone. But seriously, land in London and 2-3 months later fly home from Cairo. Whatever goes in between!
So far those are the plans. The awesome part is that none of them are really bad options, whatever happens this summer should be awesome. And I think the mostly likely event will be a mixture of the plans somehow. I know that no matter what I am going back to Maui, at least for a little while, and I would love to do the Samoa thing as well. So we'll see, I guess it's kind of exciting, but at the same time, I gotta get it figured out... For the moment, I'm waiting to hear word from the Kiwis. Crossing my fingers!
What would you do?
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The Month Last
Wow. In January, I didn't do much...In February, I did.
I skied every day except for 5 in the month of February. But before you wonder what is wrong with that, know that only ONE of those days was just for fun. All the others were either working or training. I am trying to get my PSIA level 2 certification which consists of written, skiing, and teaching exams with required clinics and what not. So I have been going to training sessions, clinics, assessments, and workshops every day I wasn't teaching. And teach I did...Over Presidents day I worked 13 days in a row. That's a lot of straight days to ski, and remember I'm skiing with up to 8 little rippers for 7 hours. It's a lot of work. Of course I love doing it, but it can get tiring. So I was pretty busy with all that.
Also in February I earned my UYSA D certificate. Those are my fancy words for a coaching license. The plan is to now get paid to be a soccer coach. So that was a two week course involving full on soccer practices, classroom sessions, homework, written and practical exams. So every night after work at the ski resort I went straight to coaching clinic and ran around for three hours in the frozen winter nights.
If I wasn't at a coaching clinic at night I was at my other job at the Soccer gym. Reffing games, babysitting adults, trying to...well, just read an earlier post, you'll get the idea. The last game every night starts at 11:15pm so I get home about 1am. Then I do it all over again.
Between all that I studied for the soccer and skiing certification written exams. It was a lot like being in college again. It's almost over now, I'm still super busy, but It feels good to have got it done. My bank account is full, I'm certified to coach premier soccer and get paid for it, and I'm about half way to being certified PSIA level 2 which comes with a hefty pay raise and a potential sponsorship to New Zealand. It's all good! But it's 8:30 and I'm going to bed!
I skied every day except for 5 in the month of February. But before you wonder what is wrong with that, know that only ONE of those days was just for fun. All the others were either working or training. I am trying to get my PSIA level 2 certification which consists of written, skiing, and teaching exams with required clinics and what not. So I have been going to training sessions, clinics, assessments, and workshops every day I wasn't teaching. And teach I did...Over Presidents day I worked 13 days in a row. That's a lot of straight days to ski, and remember I'm skiing with up to 8 little rippers for 7 hours. It's a lot of work. Of course I love doing it, but it can get tiring. So I was pretty busy with all that.
Also in February I earned my UYSA D certificate. Those are my fancy words for a coaching license. The plan is to now get paid to be a soccer coach. So that was a two week course involving full on soccer practices, classroom sessions, homework, written and practical exams. So every night after work at the ski resort I went straight to coaching clinic and ran around for three hours in the frozen winter nights.
If I wasn't at a coaching clinic at night I was at my other job at the Soccer gym. Reffing games, babysitting adults, trying to...well, just read an earlier post, you'll get the idea. The last game every night starts at 11:15pm so I get home about 1am. Then I do it all over again.
Between all that I studied for the soccer and skiing certification written exams. It was a lot like being in college again. It's almost over now, I'm still super busy, but It feels good to have got it done. My bank account is full, I'm certified to coach premier soccer and get paid for it, and I'm about half way to being certified PSIA level 2 which comes with a hefty pay raise and a potential sponsorship to New Zealand. It's all good! But it's 8:30 and I'm going to bed!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
"You can't make me!"
A little follow up to the soccer fiasco post...
So far at work today we've called an ambulance for a neck injury to a 15 year old, had a parent tell my referee to "blow his f*&$ing whistle" (during a 10 year old girls game), and called the police to escort brawling parents out of the building after attacking each other. These parents were watching their 8 YEAR OLD girls playing soccer! Now that's a role model.
The quote in the title? That was said to me after I told a grown adult to leave the premises. It's awesome babysitting grown ups.
So far at work today we've called an ambulance for a neck injury to a 15 year old, had a parent tell my referee to "blow his f*&$ing whistle" (during a 10 year old girls game), and called the police to escort brawling parents out of the building after attacking each other. These parents were watching their 8 YEAR OLD girls playing soccer! Now that's a role model.
The quote in the title? That was said to me after I told a grown adult to leave the premises. It's awesome babysitting grown ups.
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