Saturday, February 20, 2010

"You can't make me!"

A little follow up to the soccer fiasco post...

So far at work today we've called an ambulance for a neck injury to a 15 year old, had a parent tell my referee to "blow his f*&$ing whistle" (during a 10 year old girls game), and called the police to escort brawling parents out of the building after attacking each other. These parents were watching their 8 YEAR OLD girls playing soccer! Now that's a role model.

The quote in the title? That was said to me after I told a grown adult to leave the premises. It's awesome babysitting grown ups.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Kids say (and do) the funniest things.

After laughing hysterically then suddenly sobbing sadly a little 7 Year old girl in my class today said, "Coach Dallon, I'm so mad at you!"

"Why?! What's wrong?" I asked.

"You made me laugh so hard I went pee pee in my pants!"


It was so cute, sad and hilarious all at the same time!

Monday, February 15, 2010

The Ski School Fiasco

I have the coolest job ever! But some days, it's an absolute fiasco! I will now indulge...

With presidents day weekend comes hundreds of kids in ski school. Here's how it went today: I set my alarm for pm, so of course I was late to work. So I got stuck with the crap job of signing kids in and shuffling them to their coaches. My class didn't show up until around 10 oclock due to enormous lines at the gondola. With so many kids around it's quite crazy getting them all in to the right classes and getting the paperwork right so supervisors know where all the kids are and which coaches they are with. So that all took forever with my class, the ski school lift line was of course enormous so we didn't even get onto the hill until around 11. Lunch is at noon but since there are so many kids lunch was held in the Grand Summit ballroom instead of the kids lunchroom. THe ballroom is at the bottom of the gondola. It takes about 15 minutes to get up or down the gondola. One kid has special food allergies so she brought her own lunch. I didn't know about this until we were already on the gondola. So we waited for someone to bring it to us. Another student lost a glove, so we spent some time looking for it, then looking for a replacement. Then a parent calls her kid and wants to pick him up early. So we wait for 15 minutes for her to show up. Then while skiing my class down a trail we come upon another ski class with a kid laying in his own yard sale was screaming in pain. His coach was working with kids for the first time ever and was almost panicking. So I start to try to control the kid who is going into shock. Call ski patrol who show up and immediately diagnose a broken femur and call for a med flight. This kids panicked coach has no phone numbers so I then call our supervisor who freaks out (already a crazy day for her, broken femur on a kid didn't help) Then panicked coach tells me she doesn't know where the rest of her class is. So after ski patrol gets things in control I take my class off in search of missing kids. I finally found them just in time for parents to pick them up and have to deal with the questions about the helicopter and why these kids aren't with their regular coach. "Don't worry mam, I promise that is not YOUR kid getting put in the helicopter" thats what I said to all the parents...except one. That sucked. A parent of one of my kids didn't have their claim ticket to prove the kid was hers, so that was a mess. (can't give kids away unless parents give us their ticket that proves kid is theirs, sounds silly but it's for safety) Then some other parents were late, leaving me there stranded with one kid. Then I had to check out with supervisors, which took forever on account of EVERY instructor working today, and some serious incident report paper work to fill out. Then of course the line to get back down the gondola is snake-ing it's way all the way up 9990 so I decide to ski down, which turned into an even more ridiculously long line at the shortcut lift. I finally get to the base and I get a call from another supervisor about one of my kids that can't find her shoes. So I have to go help look for those only to find out after several phone calls and an hour that their friends took his boots on accident. Then...I make it to the locker room and am accosted by coworkers wanting to know how in the world a kid in ski school broke a femur. Finally I'm out of there and get to come home. It was a crazy day of waiting in line and doing lots of non ski coaching stuff. It was pretty aggravating. But you know what...It was about the most frustrating day at that job I have ever had, but it was still pretty dang awesome. Seriously, they pay me to ski and goof around with kids! I love my job.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Soccer Fiasco

At the soccer gym I ref a lot of games. Let me tell you what, it's like a 'friend making' extravaganza every game! (referred sarcasm) Ok not really. I make everyone hate me no matter what I do. What is it about soccer that makes people angry, belligerent, violent, and downright mean? I understand that it is a sport, and the competitive edge in people is going to come out, but you'd think these games are the world cup the way some people take them so seriously! Last week, a young 20 something female called me a "dumb ass" to my face after I didn't call a foul against her. I gave her a card and her response was "oh did I hurt your feelings?". This week, after an awkward play that I did call a foul on I had to pull one kid off another kid that he had just full on tackled, then deal with both teams that had just cleared the benches and started a to rumble. Awhile back, one guy got pushed into a wall, the pusher was rewarded with a fist in the nose. About a month ago, we actually had to call the police to come take care of an entire team who refused to leave because they were waiting in the parking lot for the other team to come out so they could rumble. One kid was beat up in the parking lot by other kids who were waiting there for him when he arrived BEFORE thier game. On days I work there we have had to call police four different times. I have seen at least 10 punches thrown. As a referee I have been called every name in the book, been threatened, been accused of favoring, and had balls deliberately kicked at me. Do you know what's at stake here? A t-shirt...If your team wins your league you get a t-shirt! So I'm always asking myself why people get so worked up. I'm still not exactly sure but I have a hypothesis... The average life is somewhat mundane, especially in these winter months. Most of these people live fairly routine lives without much emotional deviance. Thus, their weekly indoor soccer game becomes an outlet for pent-up emotions and energy, but the competitive nature of soccer pitting one person against another and team against team, often leads to a negative release of energy and emotion. So...we have anger and violence. And I, being the lucky referee, recieve a good deal of it. After all, there are two teams against me, not just one, I have no teammates, and I have to keep my cool no matter what. Needless to say, at the end of the night I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally. It takes full concentration to ref a soccer game. Then to ref 6 in a row becomes mentally taxing. I will be the first to admit though that I often miss fouls, or I get them wrong, but I have no linesman to back me up, no instant replay. It is up to me to make an instant decision knowing that every time I do it's going to piss someone off. Sometimes I can't see it, I can't see through people, I can't see every hand ball, push, hold, trip and foul. And sometimes you feel like you got fouled but it doesn't look like you did, or vice-versa. Being a soccer referee is downright demoralizing. There are several people every night that tell me thank you and good job and once the game is actually over most people are over it, but like many things in life, it only takes a few people out of the many to make things miserable.
Then there is the other side to my job at the soccer gym. When I work as the manager. This part of my job has regretfully caused me to loose a lot of faith in the goodness of people. Again, I am sure that I am speaking of just a few of the many people that come in there, but sadly that's all it takes. People lie about who they are, how old they are, how much money they've paid, etc. Trying to get people to pay their amount due is like trying to remove their fingernails with pliers. People...in the grown up world, you have to pay for goods and services! In wal-mart can you just tell the cashier "oh, I forgot my wallet I will just pay you next time"...NO! When the air-hockey table takes your quarters without turning on yelling and screaming at me for minutes about it will NOT fix the air hockey machine. Screaming at the referee from the stands while your 9 year plays soccer is definitely a good example, especially when you obviously have spent countless hours studying the rules of the game! (sarcasm running deep in that last sentence) Oh by the way...there is NO SUCH THING as a high kick! Your naive arguments are making you look pretty stupid. Arguing with the coach of the team your kid is playing against is also awesome, especially when NEITHER of you know what you are talking about. If you don't want to play at 11:15 don't sign up! We have hundreds of teams playing, complain and whine just a little bit more and we will adjust and re-d0 EVERY OTHER teams schedule to make YOU happy. Besides, you are the only team that cares. Don't mind that garbage can, I actually really want to pick up your trash, and yes please, spit on the floor, it makes it shiny!

Ugh, you know what...I had no intentions of this being a pitty blog so I think I'm done...But, I guess my point is: If you are playing...settle down and just have fun. And the rest of the time, do the same. And a hint to the angry- kindness, will almost always get you what you want. Obnoxiousness-won't.

And finally, I don't feel much better than those that I've described here now that I've read what I just wrote. I don't mean to complain. I like that job, I love soccer. I have LOTS of great friends there. And I understand that this is how most sports are in any setting in the world, But I will never give a referee a hard time again, and for the majority of you who are cool, and kind, and try to make the lives of people around you a little bit easier every day, I thank you. The world is kind of crazy, my little subterranean soccer gym world is a great example of that, but as residents of this world, we can be good. We don't have to be crazy too.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Top 5

In no particular order:
Movies:

  1. So I Married An Axe Murderer
  2. Better Off Dead
  3. Dumb and Dumber
  4. Back to the Future trilogy
  5. Lord of the Rings trilogy


Vehicles I'd Like to Own:
  1. Harley Davidson VRSC
  2. The Jeep I already own
  3. Beat up old pick up truck
  4. 68 hatchback Mustang
  5. Mazda 3 or Subaru impreza WRX STI

Places I want to go:
  1. New Zealand
  2. Belize
  3. Thailand
  4. Eastern Mediterranean (Italy, Turkey, Greece, Israel, Egypt)
  5. South America
To do before I die:
  1. Base jump off Angel Falls
  2. Ski on every continent(possible)
  3. Surf in every ocean
  4. Get better at bass, piano, ukulele
  5. Be healthy, happy, and meaningful
  6. Get scuba certified

Bands:
  1. Reel Big Fish
  2. Goldfinger
  3. Rush
  4. The Dropkick Murphys
  5. Reggie and the Full Effect
  6. Less Than Jake
  7. Alkaline Trio
  8. The Get Up Kids
  9. Catch 22/Streetlight Manifesto
  10. The Aquabats
TV Shows:
  1. The Simpsons
  2. How I Met Your Mother
  3. Arrested Development
  4. The Office
  5. Ducktales
Sports to play:
  1. Soccer
  2. Skiing
  3. Hockey
  4. Water polo
  5. Paintball (is that a sport?)
Sports to watch:
  1. Soccer
  2. Basketball
  3. Hockey
  4. Football
  5. Olympics/X games
Food to eat:
  1. Steak
  2. Ribs
  3. Loco Moco
  4. gyouvache
  5. Lemon bars
Pet Peeves:
  1. Smokers that don't think their butts count as litter.
  2. Drinkers who think the same about their beer cans.
  3. Naive obnoxious parents at their kids' soccer games.
  4. Mean people
  5. Judgmental hypocrites
Sports Teams:
  1. Real Salt Lake
  2. Utah Jazz
  3. USA MNT
  4. Chicago Blackhawks, Detroit Redwings, Colorado Avalanche
  5. Utah State Mens basketball
Last 5 Books I've Read:
  1. Book of Mormon
  2. A Walk in the Woods
  3. Deception Point
  4. Children of the Promise Series
  5. Angels and Demons

Friday, January 29, 2010

New Home?!






If all goes according to plan, this will soon be my home!


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Real Salt Lake are MLS Champs!

One thing about being in Maui that was kind of a bummer (one of very few) was that I only got to go to one RSL game. But, then something amazing happened...I thought RSL was statistically out of the playoffs with a few weeks left in the season, but then they won and won and on the last week of the season we beat rivals Colorado and sneaked into the playoffs. Then we won our way through the playoffs and into the championship game. I was home just in time for the game so we filled up a mini van and drove to Seattle for this amazing game! There are better photos and videos out there but this slideshow contains my pictures and my videos, not very good but it's my point of view so it's cool to me. I still get a little emotional when Robbie hit then penalty kick and we won. And massive kudos to Wingert for nailing his clutch pk under pressure. It was an awesome game and an awesome experience, and now Real Salt Lake are the Champions!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Because it's a blog...

Life is an experience full of little experiences, all of which teach us new things if we are willing to learn them. Recently...I've learned a lot. Most of what I've learned is about people, good and bad.
On the good side, I've learned that my friends and family are some very amazing people. The willingness of these people in my life to do anything for me has been such a blessing that I am unbelievably grateful for. I can't even describe how great my parents are. They do and have done so much for me. They are both willing to help me out in any way. My siblings too, give and never expect anything in return. I have an awesome family and I love them very much. My friends too, recently I was a homeless vagabond, before I was able to move into my new place after coming back from Maui I slept in 10 different places with family and friends. Every one of them was eager and happy to let me stay with them. Thank you everyone for that. (I am very happy to announce that I am no longer homeless and it sure is nice to sleep in my own bed again!) I had a great holiday season with my awesome family and friends and realize more than ever how important those people are to me. So I just want to thank anyone who has been good to me lately, especially my family, you are all awesome and I love you very much. Thanks for all the gifts, love and everything you all do for me!

Now there is also the bad, but that's a total downer and I don't want to bother, so nevermind.

But, for the sake of blogging here is what's going on in life at the moment. I am working at The Canyons again as a ski instructor and I love it. Even though some days I teach the tiny little 4 year olds and I'm more of a daycare provider than a ski instructor, it's a lot of fun. Some days can be exhausting...entertaining, teaching, feeding, cleaning, and controlling a pack of snotty, sneezy, peeing, crying, whining, tired, cold kids can be tough. It's all worth it at the end of the day though when kid tells mom and dad how much fun he had skiing with coach Dallon! And really most days I'm with older kids who are already good skiers and all we do is ski around, I give a few pointers now and then and then I get paid for it-that's pretty dang cool. So I like my job, and I have a greater respect for childcare workers and parents!
I'm woring on becoming PSIA level 2 certified which really is quite a lot of work, when I get it though I'll pretty much be considered a bonified professional in the ski instructor industry. I'll also be eligible for sponsorship from a foreign ski resort in New Zealand, where I plan to work during the summer this year. Surf and ski in the same day, no way I'm not doing THAT! And for anyone who still thinks being a ski instructor is just one more thing Dallon is doing to avoid being a grown up, well...your right. But I made two hundred dollars in one day doing what I love, so...I'm not in a real hurry to "grow up".
I'm also back at the soccer gym where I am still a manager but do a lot of reffing as well. I enjoy this as well, but wow...indoor soccer really really must be the pinnacle of some of those people's lives because the drama at that place is unbelievable! I could type for hours about the crazy things that go on there but at the end of the day I'm getting paid to play a lot of soccer, and that is enough to make me happy. And I have tons of great friends there, so it's pretty awesome.

Other than that... I still don't eat healthy enough, I miss the ocean like crazy, I have an infected hangnail that feels like getting shot with a nail gun (I know exactly how that feels), the Jazz are aggravatingly mediocre but RSL are still the champs, I can't get over a 5 year old ankle injury, there's not enough snow yet, I haven't been on a date in almost a year, my 10 year high school reunion is in a few months, I'm getting a UYSO D license, I'm going to be an uncle for the 16th time, I still love Ducktales and Legos, I'm not the same ice skater I once was...

and life is really really good!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Maui: Episode 10

This slideshow is a few months old now but here is number 10 from Maui.


We Went out to Lana'i again with Oren. This time Cindy came along. I swam around in the ocean for three hours. I found caves and all sorts of fun underwater adventures. Wow, have I mentioned how much I LOVE the ocean! It's like a whole nother world under there. I wish I had lungs! You can tell how much I love it by the 10 minutes of underwater video in this episode. The rest of the episode is my second trip to Oahu. I had a great time with my friends from Maui going to school there, and my friend Jules. We went to lots of different beaches and a few hikes. We camped on the beach too, that was pretty rad. I'm pretty sure I could live my whole life in a tent if it was always next to the ocean! The last several minutes are when I surfed pipeline. I already wrote about that but I'll tell you again, it was one of the most amazing things I've ever done. It poured rain for a few minutes but I was already wet so it didn't matter that much. It wasn't a triple crown pipe day at pipeline but I still had a good time. I also surfed sunset and chungs. Wow, I love it. I was all pretty awesome. Life is pretty awesome! Enjoy!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Ski Season and Real Salt Lake!

Aloha Utah! You may not know this but I am back in Utah, you may not know this because I'm in denial that I'm not in Maui anymore, and the more people that know I'm here the more real it becomes. Speaking of Real...

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REAL SALT LAKE ARE MLS CHAMPIONS!!!!

I'll get back to that...
I came back to Utah to further my career as a ski instructor so I had to come back when the snow started to fly. This winter I'm working on getting my PSIA certifications that will put me in position to turn skiing into a career. This is the main reason I gave up my life in paradise. Don't worry though, I still have at least 3 Maui slideshow episodes to post. Admittedly though, I have quite mixed feelings on my move. It's been good to see friends and family, but my toes are SOOOO cold! I really miss Maui already, but my first night back I watched this years Warren Miller movie and I'm pretty stoked on ski season. I never thought trading surfing for skiing would be this hard, but I fully plan on making this winter just as epic as summer was.

Now, this last weekend I drove to Seattle with some friends to watch Real Salt Lake win the MLS Cup! It was so much fun! It was such an amazing experience to be there to watch my fellas win it all. I worked for RSL last season and I am so excited for those guys. I followed the team while in Maui and one month ago I was certain we weren't even going to make it into the playoffs, today...we are the champions! I am way stoked and had a blast! Ole Ole Ole Ole Real Salt Lake!