Independence Day Abroad

Today is the day that the United States of America, the country I am from, celebrates its' independence. Today is the 3^rd time I have been abroad for the 4^th of July. Well, technically one of those other times I was on a plane of the Atlantic somewhere. But celebrating America's day in a foreign land with British housemates and co-workers from all over the world...is a pretty interesting experience!

Being in Australia today has actually made me feel more proud and patriotic for my country than ever before, and made me miss being home too. It has been four years since I was home for the 4^th, and although Hawaii is part of our country, it is as close to being foreign as you can get and still be in the USA, it hasn't been the same. I've been working on the boats watching the fireworks from outside the harbor. Which is still pretty cool. I spent the the first 17 Independence Days of my life in Wells, Nevada (Not Wales the country) to be with family at my grandmas house. It was always a great time. We would play with my cousins at the rocket ship park and go swimming at the tiny pool (assuming you could pass the mandatory swim test first). I would try to ride grandmas huge dog Diesel like a horse and would successfully ride on top of the fire engines that would drive around town picking up all the kids. Then we would watch with excitement as a man with a flare would light a single firework at a time then walk away. It would go off and we would ooohhh and aaahhh until the man walked back and lit another one. It was pretty exciting. Needless to say, the first time I saw a fireworks show where more than one went off at a time, I was blown away.

When the Wells tradition faded away I still didn't spend too many 4ths at home. I was away in Bulgaria after the first one, then I was surfing in California, or backpacking in the Wind Rivers, or doing something else, I honestly can't remember. But the best ones have always been with family and friends doing some summer activity and barbecuing along with some great fireworks. I love it all and I love the holiday and I love the country. Going to the pool, water skiing, fishing, surfing, eating hamburgers, lighting fireworks, etc. etc. are all very American things to be doing today. Which is why...today has been so strange.

I went to work today. Not unheard of but still not the norm, but...work today was teaching ski lessons. Ski lessons on snow that is. About as un-4^th of July as you can get. It's cold, it's winter, and I haven't seen a firework go off all day. To cap it off, I'm watching some huge rugby match that seems to be on par with the superbowl. (thanks to the little guy in my class today who explained the many intricacies of the game to me) This rugby match has been the talk of the town all day, not the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Not to worry though, I spent the whole day skiing around the mountain belting the national anthem as loud as I could, with a few verses from America the Beautiful and that proud to be an American song. I wasn't allowed to wear my American flag as a cape, apparently it could get snagged on a ski lift or something. So I took it upon myself to teach everyone in my lessons the history of how we won our independence and explained why it's the best country in the world and why our version of English is the most correct (it's because when anyone sings they sound American). The Aussie kids seemed to enjoy my patriotic bellowing. I got a few fist pumps and USA chants from random strangers, and all the American instructors here would chime in for a verse or two as we crossed paths on the mountain. I fear that my British housemates and co-workers grew quite weary of my constant reminders of the origin of this great holiday. Their excuses and pretend naivety were unheard and unwarranted. Even when the French girl complained that our revolution bankrupted her country and sent them into a civil war, I politely reminded her of a few events called world wars and she quickly called the score even.

Living in a foreign country, even one of the first world, has only made me realize how great my country is. I am loving this experience so far, but I really miss the much more user friendly light switches, fountain machines, urinals, and everything else in America. So this Independence day has been very different for me, and despite the very worst of American TV that is shown in this country; the fact remains that in a place where I am surrounded by people from all over the world...I am still and always will be proud to be an American.

Adventures Down Under

Dear Blog. Sorry I have been away for so long. But here is the abbreviated version of the goings on in the life of me, because I am sure you have better things to do.

I finished work in April. Had withdrawals that ski season was over, so I traveled around the Lake Tahoe area for awhile in search of still open ski resorts. I find my Mecca at a place called Kirkwood. Late season powder dumps, colliers, and cliff jumps capped off what was an otherwise mediocre ski season. It was quite epic.

I returned to Utah and proceeded to do as little as possible. I didn't win the mtn. Bike (thanks for the help anyways) so I again brought back life to my old one and for a month I mostly just did that. There was a trip to Moab in there somewhere that was a real good time, lots of RSL games, and some random summer fun. I was quite glad summer came a bit early, as I haven't had a Utah summer in many years and am still at least a year away from having another. So despite the absence of income I had a lot of fun.

Soon though the waves beckoned me and I returned to Maui. Saw Reed and Caitlin for a day then fulfilled my life long dream of being a homeless beach bum. I put a futon mattress in the back of my car and slept wherever I could find a private enough spot. Usually a beach or the church parking lot with a faucet for the teeth brushing and whatnot. I showered at the beach and poached tourist hotel pools. Surfed as much as I could and got free meals from the dinner cruise left overs. Terese joined me, and soon she found an actual home to live in so I bummed some floor space there for a few more weeks. The surf was pretty good and I was out twice a day. I did a once over tour of Maui with Terese but soon the time came to go down under.

I got to Australia on June 21, I left on June 19. For me, the day of June 20 didn't happen. That was a bit of a trip. That date line thing is quite weird. The flight was a bearable 10 hours. I had a bulkhead aisle seat with more leg room than I could have ever hoped for. After some weird disenfecting spray down on the plane I had an incredibly unpleasant night sleeping on a hard, cold airport floor before catching my bus to my new home, Jindabyne. Winter in Australia looks nothing like winter at all. For all of you who didn't believe that I was actually going to be skiing in Australia...there is some merit to your disbelief. It wasn't until I boarded a magical train that took me through a mystical tunnel to the land of the Snowy Mountains that I actually believed there was snow in this country. Where I board the train to Perisher ski resort there is no snow and the trees are alive with greenery. 15 minutes later and one ride on the Hogwarts express through the Narnia wardrobe, I emerged onto a winter mountain-scape that affirmed that I would indeed be working at an actual ski resort. It's a bit weird. Though the Aussies have a very strange definition of the word powder, and half of their ski lifts are annoying things called t-bars, I am indeed a ski instructor at Perisher Blue.

It only took me two days to get sorted and begin working. As it is the beginning of the Australian winter holidays for school kids (the equivalent of Christmas break) it has actually been VERY busy. I've been working a lot and lucked out with some kids who can ski the whole mountain and have been kind enough to show me around the mountain in exchange for some skiing tips. They have also been helpful in learning the strange vernacular tendencies of the Australian language. I share an apartment with two Brits, two Aussies, and a Canadian. I'm getting a great idea of the worlds opinions of Americans. Most of it is funny, some is disturbing. But I was just as dissappointed that no one actually says “Gooday Mate” as they are that I don't say “Y'all”. The bus ride and subsequent car rides have caused several brief panic attacks since I am still not used to driving on the left side of the road. I've been sure of at least 10 head on collisions that luckily never happened. Apparently they are all used to driving on that side. I have given it a go myself, as the only designated driver in a 500 mile radius. More difficult than the left side of the road is the right side of the car. The blinker and gear shift are in the wrong spots and I'm always driving on the left shoulder of the road. There is more car on the left side here. Americas need to be different has become quite frustrating as I have no idea how much snow 20 cm is, how far 20 Kilometers are, or how cold it is at 2 degrees C. The toilet draining direction remains a mystery since I have yet to find one that flushes in that way, they've all been front to back flushers. But the biggest disappointment is that 75 percent of TV is American, which means they are all pretty used to the American accent, denying me of having that sexy foreign accent that they have when in America.

The resort is large but only in terms of acreage, er...excuse me, in terms of hectares. It's not that high from top to bottom or in altitude. But It's still got some really fun terrain. I can't say much for the weather though. I've yet to see a snowflake. Icy bullets falling coming horizontally are quite plentiful though! I was issued a rain jacket as part of my uniform. Ugh. Jindabyne, or Jindy is a quaint little town of about 3000 people, that has bulged to about 40,000 with all the employees of 3-4 different ski resorts in the vicinity. I like it though. The kangaroos run around and get run over just like deer do in Utah. I don't know how they all escaped the zoo but it's sure weird seeing them run around everywhere all wild and stuff.

The sun is in the wrong part of the sky, and I can't find the big dipper anywhere, but in general I am quite well and things have all gone very smoothly. I have very limited internet access so feel free to email me in some form but I apologize in advance for my delayed response. I will try to keep this here blog updated as much as possible. Let my adventures down under begin! But for now...cheers mate!

Happy Birthday to ME!

In the months and weeks leading up to my thirtieth birthday I held strongly to my birthday philosophy that the day of your birthday you are only one day older than you were yesterday, just like every other day of your life, thus...it's not that big of a deal beyond being a fun day to celebrate.  So on my actual birthday, though some might think of 30 as a big deal, for me it really wasn't, but it was a really fun day on which I celebrated!  Though 30 does sound old, I don't feel any older than I did on the last day I was 29!  But...in the days leading up to my big 30 milestone I did experiment a bit with how I can make myself look younger.  First I tried this:

 Then I went with this atrocity....

But neither suited me well.  More on that later.  The festivities began a few day s early when Bethany got me a suite seat at the Jazz game.  SO awesome, especially all the food!!!

 On the day of my birth I invited any and all to a day on the slopes.  And only The Heywoods and Carrie took me up on the offer.  Besides the rainy afternoon it was a great day.  I snowboarded so as to be on closer terms with my comrades.  Since there were only the 4 of us, we got some free passes for the sweet new zip line at Canyons!

Me, Christie, John, Carrie in the orange bubble.

About to zip!

 

Riding up the magic carpet after the first zip.

The View from the top of the zip line on Lookout Ridge.

After skiing I came home to this fun surprise in my bedroom!  Thanks Melissa!  Stay out of my undies drawer next time though creeper! hehe

Then came the event I have been waiting for for four months (whoa, that was weird English...) REAL SALT LAKE!  No other sport or team has such pulls such emotionally vested interest from me like my beloved RSL.  So the fact that the first home game of the season was on my birthday was just perfect!  The weather seemed like it was going to try to take the fun out of it but it held it together for me and RSL won as well.  So it was pretty dang awesome!  Lots more friends came to this part of my birthday celebrations!

After the game I finally decided on what hair do I should have as I enter my thirties, so I recruited the less than willing Bethany and Melissa, who, with a little coaching from the more experienced me, did quite a number on my head!

This is what I looked like when I was 29

This is what I look like now!  (with shaving cream still in ear!)

I'm going to save so much money on shampoo!  Anyways, it was an awesome birthday and thanks to you all for playing with me!  But mostly, thanks Mom for bringing me into this world!  You're the best!

Charlie and Rose, A Fish Tail Tale.

The following is a true story...

     About two weeks ago my friend Bethany and I attended a gold fish race.  Early that day we went to the goldfish breeding stables to find ourselves each a prize racing goldie.  It was an easy choice for me, this fine gilled specimen was true to his name as he was sure to bring home the gold!  Only...I didn't expect him to live long enough to come home.  Anyway, Bethany had also choosen her purebred, we mad the purchase and with little fish baggies in hand made our way to the races.  In order to enter our amphibious friends into the race brackets they had to be named.  Due to the uncanny similarity my goldfish has to Mr. Charlie Chaplin, the christening was simple.  His name is Charlie.  Bethany, for reasons still unknown to me, decided her goldfish was a Rose.  So Charlie and Rose they are.  The pairing was sure to be a good one, if you have ever seen my favorite movie, So I Married an Axe Murderer, you will understand.  The brackets were set and the races had begun.  Charlies first race was versus Ashley's fish called I Pity The Fool.  (click here to watch the race!) Now, I knew Charlie was fast, you don't survive that long in the goldfish feeders tank being slow, so my confidence was high.  The race started and Charlie quickly pulled into the lead swimming like a streamlined dolphin gracefully to the other side and almost...got to the end.  Instead, he turned around and swam all the way back to me.  Then, all the way to the end again, and once again...back to me.  4 laps he made, like lightning strikes across the pool he swam!  He just never crossed the dang finish line.  Then finally like the tortoise crossing the line slow and easy just in front of wild Bugs Bunny, I Pity The Fool slowly crossed the line and won the race.  Only having swam from one end of the pool to the other in the same time Charlie made the trip four times.  But alas, it wasn't a speed trial, it was a race to get from one end to the other, and my little champion Charlie was eliminated.  As you will see though, in life, Charlie would refuse to be eliminated! Rose fared much better taking fourth place overall in the event.  She was a greater racer than Charlie, but alas...lacked his survival instincts and fight for life.  The night ended with some hilarious bravado as young strapping men overwhelming failed at getting all the water outside of the house, and little Charlie and Rose sat on the mantle in tiny plastic cups awaiting they're fate as Bethany and I marveled that they had survived the night at all, leaving us in an unplanned conundrum.

       The nights intensity had fused a bond between fish and owner that could not, would not end on this night!  So into a popcorn bowl Charlie and Rose went as we planned their future.  The next day a small fish bowl with fancy rocks, fun decorations, and yummy goldfish flakes to fill their bellies, became Charlie and Rose's new home.  They were happy and healthy...for a few hours.  As the poor suffocating fishes gulped desperately at the surface for air, I realized they didn't have enough oxygen in that tiny little bowl.  I began desperately stirring the bowl, and even blowing bubbles into the tank with my bendy straw that Bethany so mercifully provided.  For three days I stirred and blew, blew and stir, desperately trying to keep my little friends alive.  Finally one day I couldn't stand to see them suffer so much.  I bought them a new home.  A large filtered tank bigger than anything they could dream of!  So I thought...After setting up their new home, testing water quality and temperature, and putting them into their new paradise, I did some internet research.  Did you know that every goldfish needs 20 gallons of water to live healthily!?  Me neither, this 5 gallon toilet bowl was still much to insufficient...  And they were still gulping the surface for air.  They need a bubbler!  But how much more can I get into this?  After all, they're 23 cent feeder fish!  No!  Charlie may have been bred to feed to my roommates turtle, but he is mine!  I vowed to keep him and his lady friend Rose alive!
   
       On the day I meant to go get the bubbler I returned from work to a sad, horrible scene.  Poor little Rose, was nestled tightly under her favorite little turtle rock.  A light tap with the straw revealed what my broken heart already knew...Rose had gone to swim in the giant fish bowl in the sky.  I contacted Bethany and we had a small private fish flushing ceremony.  Rose was gone.  She was a great fish, the stress and owner negligence were just too much for her to handle.  In the sorrow and grief, I forgot all about the bubbler that poor Charlie still desperately needed.  On the very next day the tragic scene mercilessly repeated itself as I returned home from work to see Charlie, lying quietly on the rocks under the same turtle cave, motionless.  His heart couldn't handle the loneliness, and his lungs the lack of oxygen, but mostly it was the loneliness, and he had joined his beloved Rose in the fish bowl in the sky.  I couldn't bare to flush him though...not yet.

       So the next day, all sorrow forgotten, Bethany and I went back to the fish store.  After all, we had this nice fancy tank!  We found some fun little fish that could survive in our huge little tank, bought a bubbler, and a heater (since our new fish are tropical) and hurried home to set it all up so we wouldn't be late for the surprise part of the birthday party we were going to that night.  We got home and witnessed a miracle!  Charlie had moved a little bit and I could see him better in this position.  His gills were moving!  Charlie was still alive!  The joy, shock, and amazement was increased as I hurriedly inserted the bubbler into the tank and Charlie immediately started swimming around like normal again!  He was fine!  Yay hooray!  Suddenly though, the predicament at hand came to realization.  The new tropical guppies couldn't live in their sealed baggies for more than twenty minutes, the fish couldn't all stay in the same tank as the guppies need warmer water, they eat different food, Charlie produces too much ammonia, and in all honesty...Charlie could eat the new fish!  According to Google anyway... So what the heck are we supposed to do?!  The surprise is in ten minutes!  I place the bags of guppies in the tank to acclimate water temps and turn my brain to think mode as Bethany desperately laments missing the surprise part of the surprise party.  Reason won out over heart this time, as we had just spent an egregious amount of money making sure the tank was suitable for the guppies, and in fact...Charlie cost 23 cents.  So the tank was prepared for guppies, and poor Charlie was placed back in his tiny, boring, insufficient bowl.
     
       The guilt and pain I felt over how I had just betrayed my little Charlie nagged at me all night, I couldn't go on living my plush life knowing that after all we had been through together, I had abandoned him for these strange new fish whom I had no feelings for.  That night, when I got home from the surprise party(we didn't miss the surprise, yay!), I hastily did some more internet research and learned that the disturbances that the filter makes in the tank is probably good enough to keep the guppies healthy and oxygenated!  Which means, I can give the bubbler to Charlie in his itty bitty bowl!  I made the switch and again Charlie immediately perked up to good health again.  Today, at this moment, all fish are alive and well (more than I can say for me...the dang thing is so loud!  ugh).  Charlie is still in a tank that is about 19 gallons short of ideal, and his heart still yearns for poor Rose, but at least for now, he is alive.  I continue to rack my brain for a solution, and I hope that this story has racked your heart into helping me find Charlie a more suitable home than his bland bowl on my dresser!

The End (for now)

For queries on how you can adopt poor Charlie or help him find a new, suitable home, please contact Dallon.  Thank you!

In Loving Memory of Rose The Goldfish.

 Addendum:  In the time it has taken me to finish this post, I have added live plants, 3 snails, a ghost shrimp, and an otocinclus cat fish (algae eater), plus I split the air hose so both tanks have bubbles now.  And, Oto the otocinclus...has just joined Rose.  RIP Oto.

 

Help me!

Hi everyone.  So my friend Josh works for Lifestrength and they are having a video contest in which the prize is a new Mtn. bike.  I desperately need a new mountain bike so I made a video.  I know these things are marketing tools companies use, but in this case you can help out me and Josh at the same time if you click here to see my video, locate the one entitled "Ski School to Ski Cross" and click on it, then vote for it by clicking 10 then submit, comment on it for good measure, and if you are a facebooker then you can "like" it too.  Thanks guys!

Ranting and Raving.

 Is there, anywhere in this grand wide world, one single shopping cart with four good wheels on it?!  Seriously!  I've never used one.  Even when I try to find a good one that actually travels in a straight line when pushed my efforts are thwarted and I end up just using four of the baskets instead.  It's a great bicep workout carrying in my hands 50 pounds of cold cereal and tv dinners but come on!  Can't someone build a decent rolling shopping kart?

Who the heck invented a snooze button?  What a horrible thing.  Oh hey wake up!  But wait, maybe if you hit this button time while magically stop whilst you go back to sleep until you are sufficiently rested for the day.  Nope...BEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEEP!  You just barely fell back asleep well now wake up because guess what you're late now and have to eat breakfast in your car which of course you will spill all over yourself and look like a fool for the rest of the day and now since you have food all over yourself you're not going to get that client, or date, or promotion which of course will lead your life down a path of stubbed toes, bird poop, and stepping on gum that runs parallel to the cushy awesome path your life would have taken if SNOOZE buttons didn't exist. 

Why hasn't anyone invented a sarcasm font for keyboards and cell phones?  Can I do it?  If I create a font will you all unanimously accept it as the worldwide written media for when I email you that of course I will come over and help clean up the surprises your new puppy has left all over the yard, or agreeing with you when you tell me that Ashley is way prettier than Jessica and no way should the bachelor pick Rebecca because she just wants him for his money and Ashley's intentions are pure, or when I text you about how excited I am to go see Twilight with you and every roommate you've had over the past 8 years!  Because that would be great, this font is going to save my life someday.  For now...sarcasm will begin and end with this symbol ♣.  (alt. 5 on keypad)

 I may be doing something wrong here, but...NOT ONE of my kisses began with Kay...

I truly love America.  There is a guy out there that drives a big truck that comes to my house once a week and with this wicked awesome garbage arm of doom swiftly whisks away all the rubbish that I have accumulated and magically makes it disappear to some far off fantasy land.  Seriously, how great is that?  The garbage man and his truck are what make America so great.  But...do you really have to do it at 6 in the morning!?  That thing is LOUD!

Soap dispensers.  Awesome.  Gone are the gooped up soap dishes and bars of soap with all sorts of strange hairy objects stuck to them.  So nice.  But are they?  If I put soap on my toothbrush in an early morning stupor one more time, I'm getting a bar for the bathroom sink!  And I don't care whose short and curlys are stuck to it!

Halloween is awesome, A time for make believe, fun parties and so much candy you might as well just drill a hole in your tooth and fill it with a cavity beforehand.  But nowadays....congratulations, you are the holiday with the most alcohol related deaths. Boo.  Children of the world, I think you should occupy Halloween and reclaim your Holiday!

I love the law enforcement officers of the world.  I don't think they are all out to make our lives miserable like some do.  I am so grateful they stop dangerous, speeding motorists and are always there if I need assistance.  ♣And I am thankful for alcohol♣, for always being there to make sure the law enforcement agencies of world don't ever go out of business!  Ugh, how can being drunk be fun...I don't get it.  But for real, thanks for stopping scary speeding drivers and going to my nieces house when she is practicing calling 911.

Facebook is an awesome tool for several applications, like: keeping in touch with old friends who may live far away, , , , well ok just one really.  Remember when we humans didn't base our personal worth and self esteem on comments, messages, and...likes?  Ever seen the movie Wall-E?  Perfect prediction of social interaction of the future.  ♣Way to go facebook!♣

Can someone explain 3D movies to me?  Isn't the REAL world in 3D?  Couldn't I just go play catch with a ball or frisbee if I want to know what it's like to see things flying through the air at me?  I'll save my ten bucks and watch the old school 2D thanks.

If I start a petition to ban Old Navy commercials, will anyone sign it?  Please.

I recently watched Puss In Boots, and thus, I will now be speaking like Antonio Banderez...forever.  Ladies, you may now fall in love with me...

Dear Sportscenter, Poker is NOT a sport.  Ugh.

In an episode of Friends that I recently watched.  29 year old Ross Geller refused a glass of chocolate milk.  When Joey asked him why he didn't want it, Ross replied sarcastically, "Because I'm 29!"  As a 29 year old, I am VOWING to always love chocolate milk!  Stupid Ross.

Do all you people that got maced, mauled, frozen, and trampled on black Friday know that you can use a computer to buy all those things right from your own room at ANY time of day and have a nice man bring them right to your house for you!  It's called the internet!  Google it.  I just feel it's my duty to save you from such useless agony.  Your welcome.

Feel free to add your rantings and ravings in the comment section!

2011 Year in Review.

Quite literally, I could copy and paste my review from last year, and make very few changes.  Actually, that's the case for the last three years now.  Like before, I started this year living in Canyon Rim at the base of Parleys Canyon and working at The Canyons.  Except now it's just called Canyons.  I did earn my PSIA level 2 certification which means I've officially gone from deadbeat ski bum to semi-legitimate ski industry professional.  Mostly though, it's a big pay raise and I ski more and teach less.  I was able to ski Jackson Hole which was a long time coming and totally worth it, I fully plan on returning this year.  I met a lot of new friends this year.  Which is exciting but also strange to me since I've pretty much had the same group of friends since 9th grade.  Those friends are still around, they just have a hard time finding babysitters so they can come play with me!  I made it to Moab twice where I took a group down the river and made the mistake of riding a $5k demo mountain bike and now my own bike feels like an antique tinker toy.  I've never charged so hard, it was incredible.  Porcupine Rim trail at an average speed of 31mph!  At the end of the ski season I once again moved to Maui.  But not before finally making it to Havasupai.  After 4 previous failed attempts, Reed, Derrek, Sterling and I drove down, hiked in, swam around, and hiked out.  It was a 2011 highlight for sure.  Before arriving in Maui I spent a few weeks on the Big Island with my parents.  That was a great time.  I was able to swim with dolphins again and went scuba diving at night with giant manta rays.  Epic!  Maui this year was mostly work and less play.  Although the summer swells were ridiculously legendary.  I was on my shortboard most of the time compared to usually longboarding most of the time.  So the surfing was better than ever.  And in all honestly, working out there pretty much is playing.  My job hit rock bottom twice though when we lost a coworker then a few months later a passenger.  It is a small consolation to know Tyler and Mr. Miner both left doing something they loved so much.  I did have more shark encounters than usual which is always exciting, and Josh and Audrey finally made it out to visit us.  We did a lot of surfing, scuba diving, hiking, spear fishing, snorkeling and all the other stuff people do in Maui.  It was a good time.  Reed got married in 2011 which pretty much means I win the bet we made as seniors in high school.  No one else had me picked to be the lone man standing.  Couldn't be more pleased with his choice in wife though.  I've come full circle again and made it back to the snowless, inverted air, dreary Utah.  It's always good to be back on the mountain though, even if there is NO snow.  Can't deny that even though I missed Utah all summer, I can't stop thinking about and missing Maui right now.  I have two new nephews this year, bringing the total to 18.  My sister is still trying to get me on the Bachelor.  Implying of course, that I still am one.  That really is about it for the year.  I'm hoping and planning that New Zealand, Bali, and Thailand will be in 2012.  As well as a small business license, a head coaching gig, and a few more PSIA certs under my belt.  Mostly this year is a big blank page.  My plans for the future are more vague now I think than they ever have been.  Which is a little unsettling, but also a bit exciting as well.  I have some plans and goals that I am excited about and this year has the potential to be much different than the last three have been.  Here we go!

The New Years Kiss.

For the next several weeks we will all be scribbling out the 11 at the end of 20 and re-writing a 12 every time we write the day down, so even though it is just another day, it is kind of a special day.  It is the first day of the last year of the existence of us all.  Unless of course...the Mayans couldn't find a round rock big enough and simply ran out of room when they got to the year 2012.  So even if this isn't the beginning of the end, it is the day when we all look for a new beginning, a fresh start, and hope that things will be a bit better than the last year.  We make resolutions, and we make resolutions to keep our resolutions.  We remember the things that have happened and look forward to the things that will happen.  It is...the first day after last year, The New Year!

Personally, I don't get too caught up in the day other than a fun excuse to get together with family and friends and pretend to be cultured by drinking sparkling apple juice out of plastic wine glasses and watching washed up reality stars and bad lip synching on TV.  Speaking of lips, there is always that hope of a new years kiss as well!  I actually read on the news that dating website memberships increase dramatically this time of year.  No one wants to start out the new year alone!  I don't blame them.  So, let me divulge some wisdom from my "new years for dummies" autobiography.  Because apparently I fancy myself as some sort of kissing jedi master, as this is the second time I've written about the topic.

If you are planning a new years kiss at the stroke of midnight there are some things to remember.  First, make sure he/she is interested.  The very first new years I had as a member of the motor vehicle operators club (I was 16) I was with a girl whom I thought I was dating.  Thought being a key word.  A problem I still have to this day actually.  But come on, we held hands at the lights on Temple Square!  Anyway, I was planning on sealing the deal for the first time with my lady at the stroke of midnight on new years eve.  This was going to be a first kiss for her, for me with her, and my first new years smooch.  So it was a pretty big deal!  I couldn't think of a better time.  At the party, my pits ran like a leaky faucet I was so nervous.  I never let her get too far away, I had to be sure we were close when the countdown began.  Like a hawk I circled the party with giddy anticipation of the kiss to come.  The strangeness of her obvious attempts at avoidance had yet to compute in my single tracked mind.  She obviously noticed my conniving demeanor because soon we were in my car driving to her home to get some important object she had forgotten...FALSE.  We did actually drive all the way across my huge hometown and back.  PLENTY of time for her to explain to me that she...just wanted to be friends.  BOOM.  Just like that.  Done...so this is what they mean when they say wind out of the sails.  I spent the countdown at my grandmas house that year.  Dejected and lonely.  Fail.  (in retrospect though, that time with Gma was way more valuably spent)  But the lesson is, make sure first.

Also, it may be a good idea to make sure you are in good health.  In my latter years, I have annually spent the switch from year to year in a miserable state of gushing nostrils.  I credit this to dramatic climate change and SLC winter air.  So when I kissed that poor girl as the ball dropped, I was unaware of how extra wet this kiss would be.  Bless her heart she didn't react, but the indisputable fact remains, that my nose was more moist (that ones for you Christie) than my lips.  Yeah I know, GROSS!  So, if you've got snot gushing out of your nostrils, keep it on your own upper lip, no one wants to share that.  Dear recipient, if you're reading this, I'm sorry!

The nose subject brings up a whole different issue.  I have actually noticed that my most read blog post in recent weeks is this one:  Dallon's 5 Step Guide To Kissing for People with Big Noses.  This is good.  I'm glad you guys are planning ahead by studying up before your big kiss this new years!

Then of course there is the year that girl emerged from the shadows, unannounced and unnamed...with hands grasped behind my neck and firmly but with the softest lips, planted on me the most exciting new years kiss I've ever had.  Just as quickly as she came though...she was gone. The girl in the red dress, out of my life forever.  I still dream, that when I am old and small on a cold new years eve my future wife will giggly tell me about the time she kissed some handsome, random boy at a party, and left him speechless and twitterpated in the crowd.  She will tell me that that night...she was wearing her favorite red dress!  I have often thought I would try that, and to this day...have never had the courage to kiss a stranger on new years eve.  But wear a red dress, and I might be a hero on this new years eve!

There is also the incident when, as a joke, I kissed a friend as we counted down with full on dip and everything, I had to chase her down first as she seemed to know what was coming.  The problem was, as I later found out, this poor friend had never actually been kissed before and now sadly counts that as her first kiss.  I feel kinda bad about that.  I'm not 100% sure, but I think I am now the only person to kiss her besides her husband.  Oops!  So...make sure you are not going to ruin someones first kiss experience with a joking surprise new years kiss!

My few other new years kiss experiences didn't quite produce lessons worth learning, but this doesn't change the fact that midnight kisses on new years eve, are some of the best around!


I stopped writing this post about ten days ago, well before the new year...but just picked it back up today. I originally had high hopes and great expectations for the moment the calender switches, but...the new year is here now, and I celebrated east coast's new years and then went to bed around 11 o'clock.  I would site my age as the excuse but really I was just all sick again and didn't want to swap snot with any unfortunate lady.  I do hope however that your new years was more eventful, and wish you all the very best for 2012!  Happy Smooching!

The Christmas Spirit

   

     I do not remember the exact moment that Christmas became more to me than greedily foraging through presents under the tree to see which ones were mine, and being upset that the biggest one wasn't for me...but I am very glad that it has.  I cannot say enough about how awesome in every way Christmas is.  So I won't try.  Unfortunately I know that not everyone shares this sentiment.  For some Christmas is a lonely, cold, stressful time of year.  Hopefully those of us who are blessed with favorable circumstances can make our best efforts to share our blessings of heat, food, and loving family and friends with others.  This is one reason Christmas is so great.  The Christmas Spirit.  I fully believe that the Christmas Spirit and the Spirit of Christ are one in the same.  After all, we really are celebrating the birth of the one and only man who has given absolutely everything he had, to absolutely every one of us. It can be said that each one of us should have that spirit with us throughout the whole year.  And I like to believe that most of us do, but it cannot be denied that this time of year the feelings of joy and giving are amplified to hopefully reach each and every one of us. 
     Sometimes I wonder if we have over commercialized Christmas, I see children just get loaded on with plastic toys that are broken by the end of the day.  They get presents in the morning, then go to one set of grandparents and get some more, then off to the other grandparents house and collect again.  It's a lot of presents, though I understand fully that it is a wonderful feeling for parents to cause such joy for their children, that most of this gift giving is for the sake of the givers more so than the children just getting new toys.  And I will probably always carry on the tradition, I too have found that it is very enjoyable to give to those you love, or those in need.  In fact, I wish I could teach myself to spend so freely on myself as I can do for others.  (I'd eat a lot better)  But...I wish I knew for sure that the meaning of Christmas is still penetrating the hearts and minds of young and old alike.  I know though, that parents do such a good job teaching children about Christ in my family.  It started with my parents.  Though at the time I was more naive about Christmas and excited about presents than most, there was planted in me a deep respect and admiration for my Savior Jesus Christ and the true meaning behind the holiday that celebrates His birth.  All of the children in my family would dress up as Joseph and Mary, the Wiseman, the Shephard, and all the characters from the nativity (a cabbage patch doll played the roll of baby Jesus when I got too big) and as one of the adults read the story from Luke, we would re-enact the events surrounding the birth of Jesus.  To this date these are some of my most fond memories of Christmas and I credit those little nativity skits as a foundation upon which I have built my testimony of the Man that is my Savior.  I try to spend Christmas time, and all of my life remembering who He is and what He has done for me. 
     Of course, I am not perfect, I get wrapped up (no pun intended) in the wordly conundrum that is this life.  Recently, my poor niece was robbed when her car was broken into while in Salt Lake City.  A few days later I got a message from her on my phone.  Apparently a homeless man had found her purse, and in the purse was a receipt.  This man called the establishment from whence the receipt came, they in turn called her to tell her the purse had been found.  The message she left on my phone was to ask if I could go get the purse from this man.  My first reaction when I listened to the message was, "Oh great, he is probably going to want me to give him money for finding the purse, he is probably the one that took it!".  I was so put out that this mean, dirty man would stump so low.  It immediately hit me then.  How does Jesus feel towards those who are poor and needy, despite how they got there?  "...I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them." (Isaiah 41:17).  I immediately felt ashamed.  Is that really the first thing that came to my mind when I heard about the situation?  I am not proud.  Thankfully, my mind soon began to wander in a more positive direction.  I quickly filled my car with all the extra gloves, jackets, blankets, and food I could find in order to pay this generous man who had gone out of his way to return a little purse to my niece.  I hoped to meet him, give him all I could and take him out to a nice meal somewhere.  Ready to go in my car I called my niece back to learn where I could find the man.  Unfortunately, she was still not able to contact him.  If we never find him, I still hope to give away the excess items in my car. 
     There have been years that instead of giving each other gifts, my family has picked other families or children from the angel tree.  For the same reasons I spoke about earlier, it felt good to get some great gifts for "boy, age 7", I am sure he was thrilled with the clothes and bicycle, but even more so, I can imagine the joy his parents felt when they were able to give their son a Christmas.  But sometimes Christmas can have an unfortunate dark side, two words...Black Friday.  Seriously?  Is saving 5 dollars worth dehumanizing each other and getting maced?  To date, the most cherished gifts I have received on Christmas, are things like the handmade blanket I'm currently wrapped up in, the framed photo of my family, and all of our home videos my parents put onto DVDs and gave to us.  None of which required standing in line at 2am and fist fighting to acquire. 
      During my recent flight back to Utah there were some major delays.  Delays caused by weather (did you know airports are completely useless without internet?  I didn't either, but apparently it's true...how did they do it before?) Anyway, there was nothing any of the poor airline employees could do, but of course everyone around was grumbling, complaining, and arguing their cases to the poor airport employees.  It made me a little sad.  The Spirit of Christmas was definitely not in that terminal.  I don't think I changed anything, but I decided to try.  I started playing Silent Night on my ukulele.  I wish I could say that within minutes we were all singing along with our hands around each other in a big Kumbaya type circle, sharing photos of loved ones, and laughing merrily from the stories we all told...but we didn't.  In fact nothing happened at all.  The kid with the mohawk across from me did look up from his video game for a second though.  But for me, it was the first time this Christmas season, that I really stopped to think about what it is that we are celebrating.  The rest of my trip, because I knew it's what Jesus would do, I told every employee thank you very much and with the bestest, friendliest grin I have, wished them each a very Merry Christmas.  It was the first time I saw any of them smile.
     I just got home from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra on Temple Square annual Christmas concert (thanks Traci!).  It was spectacular!  It is so wonderful to hear Christmas music performed so powerfully.  Thanks to a trait I inherited from my mother, I was all teary eyed almost the entire concert.  But there in that huge concert hall, across the street from the gloriously lit Temple Square, it hit me again how amazing it is that God gave us His son to come and reconcile us from our sins and to orchestrate the plan that will allow us to live eternally with those we whom we love.  I know without a doubt in my heart or in my mind that Jesus Christ is the son of God, that He is my savior and redeemer, and that it is through Him, because of Him that I have reason for hope, happiness, and love in this life and a chance to continue that through to a life eternal.  How glorious a man was He to come here to this earth to bleed, suffer and die for you and me.  Such love I will never know from another, and hope to repay everyday through my thoughts, actions, and obedience.  My Savior and Lord is Jesus the Christ!
     There really is no other season as magical and glorious as this one.  I love Christmas.  The lights, the music, the time with family, the traditions, the parties, the food, the candy, and yes...even the presents!  But of course the best part of all, is the spirit I feel, the spirit given to us all by the great, loving Jehovah. 

     Merry Christmas!

It's official.

• I'm miserably sick.
• I get winded on stairs.
• I'm wearing shoes (and socks, pants, and 9 layers of other stuff too).
• There are 17 blankets on my bed.
• I have yet to see the sun.
• There is carpet on the floors.
• There are more than two lanes and everyone is driving WAY too fast for safety.
• My lips are dried up like prunes.
• I ski everyday.

I guess it's official then...